𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝘑𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘭𝘦𝘪𝘯

Chapter 47 - Stars

"Merry Christmas!", Emma wrapped her arms around my middle. Her Santa-themed pyjama pants matched with mine, we picked them out together.

It was December 24th. Joost and I spent the holidays at Sanne's house, with the rest of the Klein family. Even Lars took a break from work to celebrate with his wife and children.

The sun had disappeared at the horizon, the Dutch winter leaving a thin layer of snow behind. I was getting ready for dinner when Emma bursted through the bathroom door excitedly.

'Forget Her' by Jeff Buckley played on my phone to add some fun to my makeup routine.
"Hey Em", I smiled at the younger girl through the mirror. I applied my blush carefully.
She watched my hands pat the shade over my
skin intently. Emma did wear makeup, as much as Sanne allowed her to. Her porcelain skin needed to be protected from the harsh chemicals.

She sat down next to me: "Can I try this?"
Her finger pointed towards the liquid blush in my hand. I nodded. "Be careful, it's very pigmented. We don't want to you to match your sweater, huh?"

Her eyes fell onto her deep red Christmas sweater. Emma grimaced, unsure of trying.
I pushed her brunette hair behind her ears and dipped my fingers into the rouge.
"Here, let me do it."
I pressed my fingers to her cheek bones and watched as they adapted to a soft shade of crimson.

Bastiaan entered the room with Joost in tow. He ran over to his sister, pulling at her clothes: "Emmi, we have to get Mama's gift and put it under the tree!"
Joost leaned against the doorframe and watched his niece and nephew's interaction. They hurried out of the bathroom.

I pursued to finish my makeup. Joost pushed himself off the wooden frame and flung his arms around my neck from behind. The back of my head hit his stomach, my favourite blonde being even taller in my seated position.

Joost kissed my head as he stared at me through the lit up mirror. I smiled at the affectionate contact.

"I can't wait to be a dad", he sighed.
"Have you been manifesting it by any chance?"
Joost squinted, placing his chin on top of my head: "No? Do you think I should?" A grin shot across his lips.
"Not yet, I've just been thinking about it a lot recently. Our future in general", I rolled my eyes playfully.

We stayed there, taking in the embrace.
"Can you come to the cemetery with me? I tend to miss them a lot when I'm around Sanne and Coenraad."
Joost's voice was muffled against my hair but his words were clear. I stood up and faced him. I hummed, agreeing, appreciative of his trust in me.

I've been to the cemetery with Joost. He called it the twisted version of "meeting the parents."
It wasn't unusual for him to make jokes about it but I knew there was the pain in the back of his mind. It was present, always. We only talked about his loss when he wanted to, I respected his boundaries and didn't bring it up when it wasn't necessary.

——

The snow covered the marble stones. They sat neatly beside each other, so the married couple would be side by side, forever.

My hand never left Joost's as he let his gaze wander over the shape of his parents' graves. He was drowning in thoughts. I read the carved letters over and over.

As real as it was, there was this feeling of being incredulous. I never doubted their deaths or what it did to the younger version of my boyfriend. It was so hard for me to grasp. I wanted to understand what he felt but I knew I wouldn't. To be honest, I was lucky to not know.

"I hope you can see me shine", Joost voice was shaky, his eyes shifted from his parents' grave to the sky. The salty tears on his flushed cheeks froze.

The stars were bright and made the cold night feel a bit warmer. I glanced up as well. Maybe two of the infinite stars would be his parents. Maybe they would give him hints of their presence that remained unnoticed by Joost. They were watching over him, surely.

A shooting star sparked across vault of heaven. I closed my eyes and made a wish. A pair of blue eyes bore into my side profile: "What did you wish for?"
"I won't tell you, then it doesn't happen."
"Fine. Let me know when it does though", the sarcasm in his tone wasn't able to be ignored.

You, I thought. I wished for Joost.
To be his forever and spend every minute of every day with him for the rest of my life. To move into our own home. To share unforgettable moments that we could later gush to our grandchildren about, and repeat them because we forgot we've told them before. To tell jokes only we found funny. To watch the world around us cease to exist.

I wished to settle down with him and watch as our family grew. To see him walk our daughter down the aisle at her wedding. To see him give our son advice on how to take someone out on a date. To be our children's cheerleader at all times and cry in each others arms when they achieved something. To see them go through the stages of life.

I wanted to love him until our bones gave up and our hearts weakened. Further than that, even. Until our bodies were laid gently together in the cold dark earth, when our times came around. Until we were just another two stars in the celestial sphere.

No matter if he would still love me then, I would. I would love him unconditionally. I would never take my soul away from his and break the bond. Not even maybe, I would never.
I wished to be with Joost Klein until the end of time and beyond.

——

"This one is for you, Lenny!", Emma giggled as she handed me a small box. I pouted, not expecting something from the girl.

I pulled at the white ribbon and lifted the lid of the velvet gift. A card was placed in it, I read it.

So you don't have to keep asking if you can come over, here are the front door keys. You are always welcome!

Love, Emma (with Mama's permission) <3

My hand covered my mouth. I was met with a bunch of excited faces from my boyfriend's family. My eyes watered, full of gratitude for these wonderful people.

"Are you serious?", I scanned Sanne's and also Emma's faces. My question came out as a gasp.
They nodded frantically. Sanne's eldest daughter hurtled towards me: "Absolutely! Especially since you're moving here soon." I hugged her tightly, thanking her frequently.

That made Coen's ears perk up. His eyes switched between me on the floor and Joost behind me on the couch. When he received no information from anyone, he sat up. "You are? When?"

Joost and I concurred happily.
"After Eurovision", my beloved partner elaborated,"We've been looking at houses."
Coen flashed a smile: "That's amazing. We'll be seeing you more often then?" I chuckled at his enthusiasm and agreed.

"Apropos Eurovision", Sanne spoke up,"What about your application, Lenny? When do you know if you're going?"
"In February probably. There this smaller contest for 10 of the artists who applied in Germany. Who wins, gets to go. I know I've made it to that but that's all I know."
Emma shrugged: "I'm 100% positive you will make it and beat Joost."
"Hey!", my boyfriend warned, offended by his niece's response. She grinned, satisfied.

"Homeschooled girl versus Europapa? Sounds like a headline to me", Coen cackled,"Or a wrestling match and those are your names."

"We'll be making headlines for sure", Joost joined his brother's laughter and winked at me.

Yes, for being the hottest Eurovision couple in history.

——
A/N
my inner shakespeare had a manic episode very very sorry pookies xx
also decided to give you a hint on the next book i will probably write (i dropped the title tehe), try to find it mwahhh