As soon as Siobhan had finished her sentence, Viv carefully placed one hand on the blonds waist. She moved closer to Siobhan, refusing to pull or tug at her body in any way. As she pressed their lips together, she felt the tension in Siobhan's body dissipate. When she felt Siobhan's hands on her shoulders it encouraged her to deepen their kiss.
After a few seconds Siobhan pulled herself up slightly, so she could press her body against Viv's. The blond pulled her head back and finally broke their kiss before asking "don't you want to touch me?" The fact that Viv hadn't moved her hand from resting on her waist was making her feel insecure. Viv shook her head slightly and replied "no it's not that, I just don't want to hurt you. I can tell you're not ready for anything more than kissing right now, which is fine. I want you to feel comfortable with me." Viv's intuition and her ability to read Siobhan still surprised the blond, the nurse had been able to tell instinctively just how far she wanted to go.
"I'll tell you if I want to stop at any point, I trust you not to hurt me." With that, Viv moved her hand upwards from Siobhan's waist to her lower back and started rubbing it gently. She placed her other hand on Siobhan's cheek before kissing her again. Over the past few months, Viv had come to understand that Siobhan was extremely fragile. All anyone had ever done was take from her, nobody had ever taken the time to truly know her. If they had, they would have known that she desperately wanted to be loved and if you were kind to her, she'd do anything for you. They would have known that she loved hot chocolate and marshmallows. They would have known that every time she tried to watch a film, she'd fall asleep on the sofa. Viv's favourite thing that she'd learnt about Siobhan however, was that when she didn't get what she wanted, she'd sulk. Most people would find that annoying, but the little pout she did melted Viv's heart every time. It always reminded her that Siobhan felt comfortable enough to let Viv know when she wasn't happy, so that little face meant the world to her. Nobody else had bothered to look past the armour that Siobhan had built to protect herself and as such, they'd missed out on the most beautiful woman in the world.
Siobhan had never kissed a woman. As her heartache melted away she realised that more importantly, she'd never kissed someone who actually cared for her. This was so different to anything she'd felt before, the way Viv was kissing her made her feel special, safe and completely in control. Siobhan allowed Viv to pull her over her lap, so she was straddling her legs. The blond knew she'd done that to make sure Siobhan didn't feel trapped.
When Siobhan moved her hands up into Viv's hair, she wondered why she'd ever tried to deny her attraction to women. She'd always been attracted to men too, so dating them had allegedly been the easier option, but now she wasn't so sure. All she wanted was for someone to love her and look after her, she didn't need money or presents. Siobhan was ready to let go of everything she'd been told she should want and welcome everything that actually made her happy.
As their kiss ended, Siobhan wrapped her arms around Viv and placed her head on the older woman's shoulder. Viv proceeded to manoeuvre them both sideways so they could lie together and cuddle. Eventually, as usual, Siobhan fell asleep but this time she was wrapped safely in the arms of the only person who made her feel safe. It always made Viv laugh how easily Siobhan fell asleep and she often teased her about her love for naps.
Viv moved off the sofa gently and picked Siobhan up carefully, before carrying her upstairs. She was so light, sometimes Viv really did worry that she didn't eat properly when she was home alone. After placing Siobhan gently into the spare bed, she retreated to her own room to get changed. She knew that Siobhan would very likely wake shortly and get herself ready for bed, she knew where the spare toothbrushes were and she'd brought pyjamas with her. Viv hated waking her when she didn't have to, it made her sad when Siobhan looked confused at the interruption. Previously, they'd discussed the fact that Siobhan had struggled to sleep when she was with Roger, she'd been scared of him hurting her during the night. So Viv just couldn't wake her, she deserved her rest.
Once Viv was ready for bed, she climbed under the duvet and got cozy, thinking of all the things she needed to get done the next day. As she drifted off momentarily, she heard her bedroom door opening. Looking up, she saw Siobhan waiting for her, now wearing her pyjamas. "Viv?" She sounded worried. Half asleep, Viv replied "what is it baby?" She watched as Siobhan approached the bed and asked "can I stay here with you tonight?" Viv just smiled before pulling the duvet back and replying "of course you can."
For a little while they talked, although Siobhan found half of what Viv said to be illegible, she was so tired. As they cuddled together, they held hands and finally fell asleep together in bed for the first time.
When Siobhan woke the next morning, she realised that she did like herself after all. If someone like Viv could love her, she could learn to love herself too. In fact, she could do anything.
