Summary - Siobhan gets a cake because she deserves it don't @ me.
Now that Viv and Siobhan had been dating for a few months, the nurse had picked up on several little habits that the blond had. Viv enjoyed getting to know Siobhan properly, slowly breaking past the barriers that the blond had built to protect herself. As they sat together in their favourite coffee shop, chatting away, Viv noticed that Siobhan was fiddling with the sleeve of her jumper. Immediately, she knew that Siobhan was nervous but she really wasn't sure why. As gently as possible, Viv caught Siobhan's hand in hers and asked "what's wrong baby?"
The blond looked startled for a moment, before shaking her head slightly. "Nothing, I'm fine." As she looked up and into Vivs eyes however, she knew that she was safe. Once again, she'd shut down immediately and now she felt annoyed with herself. So, she took a deep breath and continued "actually, I was just thinking about something and it upset me a bit, that's all. Sorry." Viv smiled at her, she was proud of her girlfriend for trying to open up, just a couple of months ago she wouldn't even have said this much. "You don't need to be sorry. Do you want to talk about what's making you feel upset?"
Siobhan looked down at their intertwined hands as she wondered how much she really wanted to say. Talking with Viv was something that had helped her immensely and she knew that no matter what, her girlfriend would never judge her. "Well" Siobhan began, before closing her eyes for a moment. "When I was with Roger, he always used to make comments about things that I enjoyed. You know I try to be healthy most of the time but when I come to little coffee shops like this, sometimes I like to get a cake or a biscuit." She paused before looking back up and into Vivs eyes "at least I used to. When I was little, my Grandma always used to buy me little treats when she came to visit, but she died when I was quite young. So things like that always made me happy but Roger always had something to say. He'd always call me childish and sometimes he'd make jabs about my body. I wish I could erase his voice from my mind." As she looked down at the floor, she whispered "I wish I could go back to the day that I met him and walk away."
Viv rubbed Siobhan's hand lightly and replied "Siobhan, Roger was just desperate to control you and destroy your self esteem. I know it's hard but please remember that anything he said to you was completely worthless." She paused for a moment before asking "what's your favourite kind of cake?" For some reason, the question made Siobhan laugh, it felt so out of the blue but so sweet at the same time. "I like french fancies, the pink ones are my favourite." With that, Viv stood up and walked over to the counter and immediately started speaking to the barista. It always made Siobhan smile when she watched Viv interact with others, she was so personable and everyone immediately took to her. The young girl behind the counter was nodding and chatting to Viv as she hurried over to the cake cabinet and retrieved a little pink cake and placed it on a side plate.
Once Viv had paid, she returned to the table and placed the cake down in front of Siobhan. This time, she chose to sit down on the blonds side of the small booth, allowing her to carefully place her hand on her girlfriend's lower back. "Siobhan, you don't have to have it if you don't want it, but I want you to know that you can have anything you want. It's not childish and your body is beautiful, please don't doubt yourself. You will enjoy the things that used to make you happy again, it just takes time."
Siobhan knew that Viv was right, she was so sick of letting her past dictate her future. Vivs hand on her back was making her feel safe and protected, so she smiled at her girlfriend and asked "do you want to share it with me?" She and Roger never shared anything, he'd never had any interest in getting to know her or making her happy. When they'd first started dating, he'd asked her a few surface level questions but she'd rapidly realised that he couldn't have been less interested in her. She'd been another accessory for him to flaunt and use, they were never equals and he'd never cared about her heart. Siobhan had always assumed that true, genuine love was a myth, so for a while she'd accepted their arrangement and assumed that all couples had similar issues behind closed doors. Eventually however, Roger's lack of care for her body, mind and soul had taken its toll and she'd realised far too late that she didn't want to live like that, she just wanted someone to love her properly.
Vivs voice tore her from her thoughts as she replied "that would be nice, I'll cut it in half for us." Siobhan watched as Viv used a butter knife to cut the cake, and proceeded to very obviously offer her the bigger piece. As Siobhan took the piece of cake, she thought 'that's Viv all over' - always so thoughtful and caring towards her. Together, they shared the french fancy and much to her surprise, Siobhan didn't feel guilty, she felt proud of herself. Sharing the little treat with Viv was another first for her and it reaffirmed everything she'd realised over the past few months. All Siobhan wanted was to feel valued, like her opinions, likes and dislikes mattered. During her relationship with Roger, Siobhan had never felt more lonely or ignored. Viv never ignored her, instead she'd done everything within her power to bring Siobhan into her life.
Viv was excited to see Siobhan eat the french fancy, it was one more moment that proved the blond was healing. Every little thing she learned about Siobhan was another piece of the puzzle - so far, Viv was the only person who'd tried to put Siobhan together, rather than disregard her or tear her apart. No matter how long it took, she was determined to make Siobhan whole again and give her everything she wanted and deserved.
