Lean on Me || Jill Roord

11. Loss for Words?

Losing to Arsenal was not a good way to start off the week. Jill was in a sour mood because she felt it wasn't one of her strongest performances, and Victoria Pelova might've teased her about it. At least that's what Jill was ranting about when she walked in the door.

That night Jill went straight to bed without a word after ranting and practically ignored me because she didn't want to take her frustration out on me. Which on the bright side is good, but I don't want to be ignored. That's stupid and unfair. Which is rich coming from me.

Which brings me to physical therapy today that I had to drive myself to because Jill didn't want to come in on her off day. I totally understand that, but what set me off was the fact she was still somewhat ignoring me. She was still upset about yesterday's game, and it had put me in a sour mood now. But I pushed it down and went into PT with an open mind; Daphne had said I'd be starting light weights today, so I was excited.

Oh, how wrong was I to be excited?

By the end of my session, I was completely and utterly frustrated with the exercises and myself. I hadn't realised how much muscle I'd lost in my legs since getting that surgery. Even the leg I didn't get surgery on had lost muscle, and it was very frustrating to work through. Not being able to lift weights I would usually be able to do with ease proved to be immensely frustrating. Daphne had to tell me to stop and take a breather multiple times because if I continued, I'd probably explode and risk injuring myself more.

Once I was lying on the trainer's table and Daphne got to work on my leg, it was silent. I laid my arms over my face and sighed. I was just mentally exhausted with this stupid injury. I hated being away from the field for so long, and I'd never had such a big injury. I was truly disheartened to realise it's only just barely been a month since initially tearing my ACL. It had been a long mentally draining month, and I had a feeling it was definitely going to get worse before it got better.

Jill was moving back into her apartment sometime this week, or she was supposed to. I was sad to say the least, but I knew she needed her own space to live in again. I had to remind myself multiple times that this doesn't mean we can't have something more than we already have. I can always go to hers or she can come to mine, but it'd be weird not having her live with me anymore. I had become accustomed to living with another person rather quickly.

"How are you and Jill?"

"Hm?" Daphne's question jolted me out of my thoughts as I sat up on my elbows to glance in her direction.

"How are you and Jill? She's still staying with you, no?"

"Oh, yeah. She's moving back into her place sometime this week though." I said, though I couldn't stop the slight frown taking over my face.

Daphne raised an eyebrow. "You seem sad about that."

"No, no, it's fine, really. She probably wants her own space after having to live with me for a month. It's fine; we're still really good friends and whatnot. I can just go over to hers now or something." I defended myself quickly, maybe too quickly.

"Friends, uh huh." Daphne hummed. Why did she sound so sarcastic about it? "Anyways, I'm going to change your home exercises slightly, so let me update them, and you'll be on your way. Did you drive yourself today?"

"Yeah, Jill didn't want to come in today." Daphne hummed before rolling away in her swivel chair. The girl loved that chair, and it never failed to make me laugh, whether it be internally or loud enough for her to hear. Daphne had begun to become a good friend of mine as we got along well during therapy. It was reassuring to know she would be there for me during these nine months.

When I got home, it was early in the afternoon, and I wasn't sure if Jill would be up and moving or not; she said she was really sore. After unlocking my door and glancing briefly around before setting my things on the counter, my apartment seemed unchanged. It was quiet, the gentle hum of the refrigerator filling the soundless void. I narrowed my eyes. Was Jill here?