Lean on Me || Jill Roord

29. Jill's ACL

It was an unusually chilly night at the stadium, but nonetheless it was an evening game, so it made sense. I gave Jill a soft smile and a thumbs up as she walked out of the tunnel—a little thing I'd started to do at each game I watched from the stands. I'd sat at the top of the stands tonight because I always liked the birds eye view; it really let me analyse everything.

Today's game was important for multiple reasons: one, it was a Conti Cup match and we needed to win in order to top the table, and two, it was a Derby game. Obviously, we had to win. I was fairly confident we would; our first couple of games after the new year had been good, and I'd like to think we're trending in the right way.

I was itching to play, though, even if I was only a few weeks past three months. Daphne had told me in a I'd be running again sometime next week as I'd progressed well after jogging last week. If anything, I was ahead in recovery time, which had honestly surprised me due to the rough road I'd been on. I guess that even though the road's been bumpy, I've still managed to diligently push my way through recovery.

The ref blew the whistle, signalling the start of the game, and aided in snapping me out of my thoughts. We had chances right off the get-go and were playing well. I was glad everyone clicked with each other so quickly after the break. All of us had gone our separate ways after our team party, which made sense since we all had family across the globe. Focussing back on the game, I had a good feeling about it honestly, but that quickly changed.

I wasn't sure what minute it was, but I knew it was too early in the match, and when my heart dropped the second I saw Jill collide with Katie Zelem in a challenge and immediately fall to the ground clutching her knee, I think a piece of my heart broke. I shot out of my seat, earning looks from some of the people around me—not that I cared. I watched her lay on the ground clearly in pain. Shakily, I raised my hand over my mouth because I knew. I knew.

I didn't want to believe it. For Jill's sake and my sake. It couldn't be. It shouldn't be. I didn't want it to be. It wasn't happening. I would deny it until I couldn't.

My legs carried me down the stairs and through the stadium to the changing room and to the tunnel without much thought. My mind hadn't caught up. I stood there in the tunnel entrance watching as the athletic trainers helped Jill stand. She didn't believe it either; she didn't want to.

As they slowly walked to the sidelines, Jill's eyes found mine. All I could see in them was deep, underlying sadness. She shook her head, unwilling to let it be true. Tears were falling out of my eyes now; I couldn't help it. I, more than anyone, knew what this meant. The one thing I wanted to protect Jill from the most might've just happened. Did happen.

The trainers took her to the side, where she did some exercises to see if she was fit enough to go back on, but I couldn't watch. I stood in the tunnel, waiting because I knew she and the trainers would be walking down it soon enough; Jill wasn't going back on the pitch anytime soon.

After what felt like hours, Jill appeared in the tunnel, walking towards me with Lynn. It was a scary deja vu feeling; Lynn had walked down with me when I tore mine.

My eyes shifted to Lynn's for a moment, and I could tell she knew as well. There was a frown on her face and a dull one on Jill's. A second ACL wasn't what this team needed, definitely in the second half of the season. When they reached me, I reached out for Jill, and next thing I knew, I was practically holding up her entire body weight. She hadn't cried on the field; she hadn't shown that much emotion, but as soon as we were away from everyone in the safety of the changing room, she broke down. She knew what this meant; she knew.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there for, but I continued whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she cried into my lap. It was all I could do to provide some sort of comfort for her. I didn't know what to feel; I didn't know what to actually do, but I was praying that, by some crazy amount of luck, it wasn't her acl.