Lean on Me || Jill Roord

32. I'm Ok if You're Okay

Spoiler alert: it was raining this morning, once again. February has brought a new front of cold and rainy weather, which I wasn't complaining about in any way. The sky was dim due to the early hours of the morning; the sun was not able to peak through the thick cloud cover.

I found myself at peace as I walked down the street towards the small coffee shop I had found when I first moved into Manchester. Jill was still fast asleep in my flat; she'd made it very difficult to untangle myself from her arms. I almost didn't have the heart to leave, but I wanted to get coffee and some pastries for the both of us.

Today Jill and I planned to stay in and enjoy each other's company. I had an off day in recovery because Daphne wanted me to rest after jogging. She didn't want it to get to my head and think I can just start sprinting immediately, which I understand, and it's probably the right thing for me to do. Plus, I wouldn't pass up quality time with Jill.

Her surgery was set for next Thursday, a week from today, which she was kind of dreading. Though I assured her everything would be alright, just as everything was alright for me. Ever since she'd gotten back from the Netherlands, she seemed more at peace with her injury. Sure, it had been less than a day, but I picked up on it immediately.

Pink Floyd was my music of choice this morning, one of my favourite bands if I was honest, and no, that doesn't mean I'm a pothead. Though their music can be quite good when you're under the influence. They're one of the greatest bands of all time, in my opinion, and I'll back that in every way I can. Every album is an absolute masterpiece. A Momentary Lapse of Reason was my choice on the way back to my flat.

"When did you sneak out this morning?" Jill's voice caught me off guard as I opened my door, revealing Jill sat at the kitchen counter.

A sly smile crept onto my face as I removed my headphones. "Around 8 or so." Jill glanced at her phone with a frown, realising it was now nearing ten. Setting my things down, I walked behind Jill, wrapping her in my arms and placing a kiss on top of her head, receiving a giggle in return.

"I got coffee pastries." Jill hummed in amusement as I unwrapped my arms from her shoulders and sat down next to her. Though her hand quickly found its way back into mine as we sat in comfortable silence drinking our coffees. The feeling that spread through my body at Jill's need for physical contact was warm and fuzzy; I loved when she was touchy like this. Even if it usually meant she was nervous about something.

I mindlessly stroked my thumb over her knuckles reading an email Adidas had sent me last night, and I had shuffled it to the back of my mind until this morning. Needless to say, I had another shoot down in London for some new clothes Adidas was releasing. I'd have to give Kyra a call and ask if she knew anything about it. Jill rested her head on my shoulder as she reached for her pastry and began to eat the cream cheese danish, my heart fluttering at the action but also invoking the smallest amount of worry.

"Jill?" I questioned quietly; she hummed in response. "Are you okay?"

Silence followed for a few beats, then Jill set her pastry down and removed her head from my shoulder, though her hand stayed firmly in mine. "I'm just nervous, I guess. But also frustrated that I have to wait another whole week to get surgery. I want to get started with recovery as fast as possible."

I gave Jill a sad smile when she finally met my eyes. I knew exactly what she was feeling, and it's hard to cope with. "And that's okay; those feelings are valid," I said sincerely. Jill's eyes were glassed over now, and it made my heart feel heavy. Moving my free hand to her cheek, Jill leaned into it subconsciously, and I brushed away the silent tears that had begun to fall with my thumb.

Later, I found myself laid on the couch with Jill completely laying on top of me with her leg propped up between mine. She was fast asleep as I held her in my arm, listening to the soft voices coming from the television. Jill had cried herself to sleep in my arms, and it pulled at my heartstrings more than I wanted it to. It physically hurt me to see Jill in this much anguish. Lunch was out of the question now since it was well past two; Jill had been asleep for more than two hours now, and I knew I needed to wake her up soon, but she seemed so peaceful. I didn't have the heart to interrupt her much-needed slumber.