Lean on Me || Jill Roord

39. A Final Push

If I could get rid of one thing in the world, it would be the fucking media. Or knees.

"Caroline?" Ellie squatted in front of me so she could see my eyes since I was sitting on the edge of my bed. "Who cares what they think? Have they been with you every step of the way? Have they watched how much effort you've put into your rehab? Their opinion doesn't matter; it's irrelevant." She reasoned with me as her voice rose in her own frustration.

The announcement that I was fit for the matchday squad of our second group stage game had rocked the woso world, and media outlets were writing tonnes of articles about my resilient recovery. Yet fans on Twitter began arguing that it's too soon and that I shouldn't even be in the squad because I haven't played in nine months. I know it's stupid of me to look through what the fans think, but I can't help myself. I can't stop the way it builds a pit in my stomach because I feel like nobody's supporting me. If you don't have backing from fans, then what's the point?

"Caroline, are you listening?" Ellie put her hands on my knees, shaking softly, until I finally locked eyes with her. "Should I call Jill?"

I shook my head; I knew she was busy catching up with some old club teammates. It'd be rude of me to interrupt that, plus I'd seen her earlier when she met my parents and my brother. As expected, they loved her, and I even got the stamp of approval from my brother, as if I needed it in the first place. Though I was glad everything went smoothly and she got along quite well with my family. I think my heart grew in size as I watched her interact with them before Jill needed to drive me back to my hotel.

Ellie let out a sigh, now resting her arms across my knees. "Listen, I believe in you, your team believes in you, and I know your family and Jill believe in you. That's all you need. Nobody else has a say in when you return; that's on you. If you're ready, then you're ready. Okay?" Her voice was soft as she encouraged me to believe in myself now. Something I think I struggled with throughout my entire recovery because I was worried about this moment. This was the final push before making my highly anticipated return. This was the make or break moment.

"Okay," I whispered quietly. Nodding to not only reassure Ellie but also myself.

"Okay," she grinned. "Now let's go get breakfast because I am . starving." I let out a laugh that brought a smile to Ellie's face as she offered me a hand that I took gratefully.

Ellie and I made the quick walk to the elevator and down to the private dining room for breakfast with the team. Kyra was sitting with Charli and Katrina, so as soon as I got food, I made my way over to them, saying bye to Ellie, who went to sit with Steph, Caitlin, Alanna, and Macca.

"You doing alright, Caro?" Katrina asked me as I sat down. I gave her a small smile in response.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine," though as I glanced towards Kyra, she raised an eyebrow, seeing right through me. She chose not to comment on it right now, but I knew she'd mention it later.

"How's Jill?" She asked instead with a smirk very present. "More so, how was last night?"

"Last night?" Charli furrowed her brows.

I held in a laugh at the lack of context Kyra had provided, prompting Charli's confusion. "Jill met my parents last night, and my brother." Charli's brows raised in understanding now that she had context.

"It went way better than I thought it would; she got along really well with my mum and Matt. Even talked to him in German for a bit. "II loved that she had taken the time to talk of him in German because she knew it was his first language. The way she paid attention to the fine details and remembered the little things is what mattered the most to me. I think I keep falling harder for her every day.