15. Distractions

589 17 2
                                    

The next few days were weird, regarding living in my own apartment. By myself. Without Jill. I thought about getting a cat, actually.

I'd become so accustomed to someone else living with me, which in my eyes was odd solely because when I lived in Portland I was by myself. Sure, my teammates lived down the hall or whatever, but I was still alone. This Jill moving out thing was hitting me harder than I'd like it to. Which also meant that on Monday my head wasn't completely focused on my physical therapy; luckily Daphne didn't really notice. Though when Jill drove me on Wednesday and I walked in, Daphne noticed something was off immediately. And I knew I was in for a talk.

"Did Jill move out?" Daphne asked with an eyebrow raised as she rolled across the room on her swivel chair to grab some bands for me.

"What?" I was taken aback by the question solely because I wasn't expecting it.

"You heard me," she mused while handing me a band.

"Um," I paused. "Yeah. Why?"

"I can see it in your face." I stopped stretching out my knee. "What do you mean?"

"Anyone who looked hard enough could tell that there's something more than just a friendship between you two." Really?I didn't reply right away so Daphne continued. "Every time something seems to be off with you, it's usually got to do with an issue regarding Jill." I rolled my eyes.

"That's not true." Daphne only looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, maybe it is true." But that didn't make me feel any better. Did my mood really depend on Jill that much?

Daphne's face softened when she realised I was lost in thought. "Hey," she put a hand in my knee to get me to stop doing the stretches. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm sorry."

I gave her a half smile, "It's fine." But it wasn't fine. My brain had already taken the statement and run with it.

I needed to distance myself from Jill and stop being so reliant upon her. Screw my injury, screw my recovery. I could do it by myself. I don't need to rely on people to help me succeed. I can do it by myself. Maybe Jill moving out was a good thing; maybe being alone will let me become self-dependent again. I'll be able to focus on my stretches at home more instead of being curled up on the couch with Jill watching television. Even if that was rather nice.

I let out a sigh before continuing my warm-up stretches before Daphne allowed me to use light weights. The rest of PT I wasn't completely all there mentally; physically I was because I was determined to be fully recovered by the Olympics, but mentally... I was long gone. My mind had come to the conclusion that Jill was less distracting me from fully focussing on my recovery. Obviously my brain was clouding my heart's judgement, but that didn't matter.

When I finished up my therapy, I decided to Uber home because I needed to get a few things done, and I didn't want to be reliant on Jill since she gave me a ride. Though I did send her a text saying I went home.

I mindlessly cleaned my entire apartment once I got home, ignoring the aching pain forming in my knee after a while. I was too engrossed by what I was doing to stop and rest. I couldn't rest though because I needed to get things done; I needed to be able to do things on my own; I couldn't rely on Jill. As the sun set through my apartment window, I turned the television on as background noise as I stood in my kitchen making pasta for dinner since it was getting late. I'd decided that after dinner I'd finally relax on the couch and ice my knee that may or may not be in more pain than it should be right now.

I frowned when my thoughts drifted to Jill and what she was doing right now. Usually she'd be at the counter watching me cook, or she'd be helping me, or the roles would be reversed. Then one of us would do dishes, and then we'd watch a movie or catch up on my brother's hockey game highlights. Not so much the latter, but Jill would join me occasionally. I was determined to make her a hockey fan.

Lean on Me || Jill RoordWhere stories live. Discover now