Sacred Heart

Chapter Six

Rowan was a few steps from the front door when Aelin answered it. She was glad she wasn't the only one who was feeling particularly nervous. The last time Rowan had stepped inside this house would have been the day he had left... and the last time they had been there together was when they had been deeply in love and about to get married.

Aelin felt a shiver run down her back as she stepped aside, gesturing for Rowan to come in. He didn't say anything as he brushed past her and Aelin felt the hair on her arms stand as his hand brushed her own. She felt Rowan's own hand flinch at the contact and she immediately stepped away and closed the door behind him.

They stood for a moment in awkward silence. Rowan knew the house like the back of his hand; it might have had new coats of paint and different decor, but it was still the same house they had bought together just over five years ago.

Aelin didn't know what to say. The air was thick with tension and she didn't know how to fix it. She was torn with being angry at him for being here but she also felt her heart softening at the proximity to him. Part of her wanted to scream at him and then to cry and tell him about Maia.

She did none of those things. Instead she finally looked him in the eye and let herself give him a small, tentative smile. Rowan seemed to relax slightly at it and returned her smile with his own.

"Did you want a coffee?" She asked.

Rowan nodded. "Coffee would be great."

He followed her into the kitchen and she watched him take a seat at the breakfast bar whilst she turned to the coffee machine and started to make them both something to drink. Aelin was sure she could have used something stronger than a coffee, but with Maia coming home that evening and knowing herself when she had alcohol in her system; it was probably best that she remained sober.

Aelin placed the steaming mug of coffee in front of Rowan and kept her distance by loitering the other side of the kitchen island, taking a sip of the scalding hot liquid.

The two of them lapsed into silence for a moment longer until Rowan cleared his throat and set his mug down on the counter.

"You've made it nice in here. You kept a lot of the character."

Aelin looked around at her large family kitchen and the beautiful bespoke kitchen she had custom ordered, at the exposed beams and the flagstone flooring. She had tried to keep as many elements of the original house as she could— and Rowan was right— it was nice.

"It took me a long time to get it to this."

"It was worth it."

The silence dragged on and Aelin was unsure what to say to start the conversation. It was like all the things she had planned to say and wanted to say to him had vanished from her head and instead she was left with nothing but small talk. It was like the very presence of Rowan made her lose all sense of thought.

Luckily, Rowan began to talk again. Saving them from the terrible silence. "Do you live here on your own?"

Aelin's heart thumped in her chest. Did he know?

"I only ask because it's a big place... I didn't know if Lysandra or Elide lived here too. I know the three of you had planned it at one point— before we..." He trailed off.

"I'm here by myself. Lysandra and Aedion got married two years ago and are expecting their first child in a couple of weeks. And Elide moved in with Lorcan three years ago."

He nodded in understanding.

"I'm not lonely here, Rowan."

"I didn't say you were."