OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 57

"I was probably just one of many, wasn't I?" you eventually said in a low voice as you could see Cillian flinch before your gaze fell on the floor for a moment. You too were bothered by the article now, more than you could admit even to yourself and Cillian's audacity, telling you that you were out of line because you were trying to move on, made you incredibly upset and angry.

"No actually, you were one of very few," Cillian interrupted you with an almost angry tone in his voice. "I only ever got involved with you while being married and what happened between me and Amanda was a huge mistake," he began to say before trailing off slightly and bringing his gaze back up and meeting your eyes. "But you know, I am tired of this, because I can't change the past and I am sick of apologizing over and over again just so you can push me away," he admitted, frustration finally visible in his typically collected eyes.

Shock rippled through you at Cillian's admission. He was tired of apologizing? You were the one who should be tired. Tired of constantly being reminded of the choices he made in the past while still acting jealous and insecure, not letting you go or allowing you to move on. Despite, you knew that you pushed him away because every time you came close to him, you couldn't help but feel the sting of pain. It was hard for you to forget how he had hurt you, and it was even harder for you to trust him after all the harm he caused.

"And I am tired of your jealous behavior and your constant involvment in my life," you shot back, your cheeks flushed with anger. "Your constant nagging and commentary about Sean and now this. I am tired of it, Cillian!" you told him.

Cillian clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his frustrations and thoughts. "Sean is.... I don't even know where to start...," he trailed off and you could hear the distain in his voice. "But you are right. I am jealous. I hate seeing you with him, or anyone else for this matter. The idea of another man touching you is enough to drive me crazy and every time I see you with someone else, it's like a punch in the gut," Cillian finally admitted with a growl in his voice, looking at you with a desperate gaze.

"Isn't that funny now?" you rolled your eyes. "You, as a famous Hollywood Actor, who can have every woman he wants, are jealous because I'm sleeping with someone else?" you asked incredulously, your eyes narrowing as you looked at Cillian. "That's pathetic," you added, trying to push him away when he attempted to take your hand into his.

"Perhaps it is, but you hold all the cards now Y/N. I haven't even been with anyone since you left me," Cillian confessed, letting go of your hand as if to prove his point.

You looked at him skeptically, not entirely convinced. "Bullshit," you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

"No, it's true," Cillian insisted, his voice low. "I swear, I haven't been with anyone. Not since the day you left," he said firmly. "And the fact you question me about this now and the fact that you asked me about the allegations in the article indicates to me that...," he began to argue determinately but you placed your finger on to his lips quickly to silence him.

"No! Stop Cillian! I said I moved on," you protested firmly but, what he did next, caught you off-guard.

Instead of pulling away, he grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look him in the eyes, which were swimming with curiosity and hunger.

"I don't think you have," Cillian whispered, holding your gaze. "I think you're still mine, Y/N. And I think the idea of this, of us, excites you," he added, then moving his hand up to gently cup your check as he leaned forward and whispered in your ear. "I know it does. I can see it in your eyes," he added, causing a shiver to run down your spine as he breathed hot air against your skin.

"I have moved on," you whispered, though you couldn't help the way your breath caught in your throat as he traced his thumb along your lower lip.

"Like I said, I don't think you have," Cillian repeated, moving even closer to you until there was only an inch of space between your bodies.