OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 50

Over the next three months, Cillian and you attended family counselling together once a week to establish a parenting plan and some serious boundaries after Cillian had overstepped the line on numerous occasions, bursting into your home uninvited and without any reason whatsoever. You were determined to work on your past relationship and give Mara the best chance at a healthy family life.

"Communication is the key" was what the therapist drilled into both of you, time and time again and, much to your surprise, Cillian was making a real effort. He attended every counselling session despite his busy schedule, and you could see a change in him.

He was no longer the hurricane of emotions, but a man on a mission to heal and rebuild what he had lost.

In time, you even started to see some glimpses of your old relationship with him, moments where you would laugh and talk like you used to. It was comforting in a way, but at the same time, it made things even more complicated than they already were.

You couldn't deny that you still had feelings for Cillian, and it seemed like he still had feelings for you too. But you also couldn't deny that you had moved on in some ways.

Over time and with the help of the counsellor you found a rhythm whereby Cillian took care of Mara most days when you were attending university again. She also stayed with him two nights per week, giving you a break from motherhood.

It was not an ideal situation considering the circumstances, but it worked for all parties involved and you managed to share a communication book so that you could avoid endless text messaging just as the therapist had recommended.

During these months, you also continued to see Sean, casually, for a date or two. He had turned out to be an unexpectedly sweet and sensitive lover and the sex between the two of you improved too.

You even managed to reach complete satisfaction now and then, whenever you were able to take charge of the situation, as Sean's love-making was unfortunately, rather passive compared to Cillian's experienced touch which, deep down inside of you, you craved deeply.

Usurpingly, Cillian insisted on no contact between your newfound lover and Mara until you considered something more serious with him which, to you, seemed fair. The therapist concurred with Cillian in this regard, demanding the same from him if he was to start dating again, and you were simply grateful that, after all this time, Cillian, as Mara's father. accepted the fact that Sean was in your life now.

Occasionally, Cillian would call Sean your toyboy to get under your skin while, at the same time, reminding you how much you still meant to him without being too pushy.

He still couldn't stand the thought of you sleeping with someone else and it was clear to you that he missed you terribly and was struggling to deal with the fact that you had moved on.

This was an issue that came up during therapy now and then where the counsellor reminded him of your boundaries, but overall, Cillian's interference in your life was minimal.

So, in the grand scheme of things, you were able to focus on your new relationship with Sean while also trying to establish some level of peace with Cillian for the sake of Mara which was, at least, until you both got caught up in a situation neither of you could foresee and this was Siobhan's wedding.

Due to the close connection you had shared with her for almost a year now, Cillian's sister Siobhan invited you to her upcoming wedding in Cork where she would marry one of Cillian's friends.

The two of them had been dating for almost 18 months now and their decision to get hitched caught everyone by surprise. Siobhan, being Cillian's younger sister was like a second sister to you and she had been your confidant more times than not during the early days of your breakup with Cillian.