OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 29

The following morning, there was an unusual silence inside the bedroom when you woke up.

Cillian was gone, leaving behind a note on the bedside table saying that he was going to drop by the pharmacy and pick up some supplies for you and Mara. He had taken Mara with him, which gave you some time to shower and freshen up, to prepare for the day ahead.

You took your time, enjoying the solitude and the rare opportunity to pamper yourself, knowing that the days ahead would likely be filled with sleepless nights and constant care for Mara again especially when Cillian was headed off to America for work. This was a welcome respite.

Afterward, you put on your favorite pair of yoga pants and a soft tank top, stepping out onto the porch to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun cast rays of brilliant light upon the small garden at the back of your house, illuminating the beauty of nature around you. You took a seat on an outdoor bench, savoring the tranquility and the serenity of the moment just before Cillian returned with your babygirl.

"Thank you for taking her," you told him sincerely. "I appreciate the rest."

His face softened, his blue eyes glistening with concern as he held Mara close to his chest. He looked so tender, caring and protective that a lump formed in your throat.

"Don't mention it," he replied gruffly, his gaze flickering between you and his babygirl before bringing up his two week trip, worrying that you might not manage alone.

"I'll be alright," you assured him confidently, patting his hand reassuringly as you rose from the bench, feeling revitalized by the fresh air and the quiet moments of peace. "My stomach feels much better now. I can move around again and, really, I do need to learn how to be on my own with Mara. It's good practice," you explained, grasping his hands reassuringly. "I'll be fine, trust me; it's just a couple of weeks, right?" you smiled, determined to make the best of your circumstances.

Cillian hesitated before agreeing, his blue eyes glistening with concern as he held Mara close to his chest. His fingers brushed against your hand, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You both looked at each other, a silent understanding passing between you.

"Although maybe it is you who cannot cope on your own," you teased, still sensing his apprehension.

Cillian glanced at you, his brows furrowing slightly. "You might be right," he agreed, a mischievous sparkle dancing in his eyes.

He handed Mara over to you delicately, his touch featherlight, as if afraid to disrupt the peaceful balance you had achieved in your lives. You could sense the undercurrent of desire simmering beneath his surface, a flame burning brighter with each passing day. Yet, the timing was wrong, for now.

"I will miss you," he then said before correcting himself. "I mean, I will miss Mara and, I don't know," he quickly added nervously, averting his gaze from you quickly before meeting your gaze once more. "I guess, I will miss you too," he confessed quietly, his voice barely rising above a whisper.

You looked at him, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "I will miss you too, Cillian," you chuckled before spending another hour with him and then sending him on the way. He still had his clothes to pack and a flight to catch later that afternoon.

Over the next two weeks, you slowly found your feet, living with Mara on your own. Of course, you had some harrowing nights and many challenging moments, but you knew that it was all part of the learning curve of parenthood.

Still, you missed Cillian. Not only did you crave his presence physically, but you also yearned for his companionship and shared laughter. He was the source of comfort and stability in your life, a steadfast pillar in the stormy seas of life.

You began to wonder what he was doing over there in Los Angeles, thousands of miles away from you, but your thoughts were interrupted by the soft whimpers coming from Mara's crib.

She wanted your attention, and you gladly obliged, shuffling across the room to pick her up and bring her close to your chest. You rocked her gently, swaying in time with her delicate heartbeat, humming a soft melody to soothe her.

"It's okay, baby girl," you crooned, your voice low and comforting. "I know you miss your daddy, but he will be back in a few days," you murmured, kissing her forehead gently as she nestled her head against your neck, snuggling closer to you.

Mara was an absolute delight, a bundle of joy and laughter that lifted your spirits every day.

Her giggles and infectious smiles brought happiness into your life. You spent countless hours reading books, playing games, and engaging in playful conversations with her. You adored her, nurturing and caring for her and, over time, you became increasingly attached to her.

Motherhood suited you was what Cillian's sister said when she came to check up on you and, whilst you appreciated her support, you felt a little strange about the fact that his family became more involved in your life than your own.

Just last week for example you received a call from Cillian's mother, inviting you and Mara to come along for her 70th birthday in Cork.

It was a special occasion that she simply couldn't bear to celebrate without her granddaughter. And, of course, you accepted the invitation without hesitation even despite the fact that your mother and Cillian's brother Frank were attending the party as well.

According to Cillian's mother, you would all be staying at her house and when she told you that she had already bought a basinet and other necessities for Mara, you felt quite touched and simply couldn't say no.

With that, the days leading up to Cillian's mother's birthday went quickly with a newborn in the house and Cillian returned earlier than expected due to the SAG strike.

Unsurprisingly though, he did not seem to mind that his trip was being cut short. After all, he hated giving interviews and engaging in social events for the sake of promoting his movies. It was something that he considered to be absurd and he much rather wanted to spend time with his babygirl.

As such, he came straight to your house after having landed in Dublin following his eight-hour flight from LAX before spending the next few days with you, Mara and Max.

Max was coming to Cork with you too, visiting his grandmother for her 70th birthday celebration. Although you weren't particularly excited about the prospect of spending a weekend with your mother and Frank, who would undoubtedly throw passive-aggressive remarks your way every chance he got, you were willing to endure his company for the sake of celebrating this milestone.

It was important to Cillian's mother to see her whole family together again, and you understood that you should set aside your personal feelings and focus on creating happy memories for Mara.