OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 37

Then, suddenly, however, even in foggy mind, his consciousness got the better of him again, realizing that what he was about to do would be utterly foolish.

Cillian jerked back, pushing Amanda away from him. "No," he said firmly, his voice laced with regret and guilt. "I can't do this."

Amanda looked at him, surprised, as if she couldn't believe what was happening. Cillian could see the confusion in her eyes, but also something else: a flash of disappointment or perhaps anger.

"What the fuck, Am!" he spat, quickly adjusting his pants and moving away from her. Amanda pursed her lips, a mixture of anger and annoyance in her eyes.

"Cillian, come on. You didn't seem to mind it all that much a moment ago," Amanda said, her tone laced with irritation.

Cillian shook his head, feeling a sense of disgust wash over him. "I am drunk, I think. I am sorry. I can't fucking do this," he repeated, trying to regain his composure as he moved towards the door, feeling extremely dizzy and disoriented.

"Cillian, wait," Amanda said, reaching out to him, but he pushed her away, unlocking the door with trembling hands.

"Don't follow me," he said, his voice low and menacing as he stepped out into the hallway, taking a deep breath of fresh air just as his sister Siobhan came walking by, acknowledging the state he was in.

"Cillian! Wait!" Amanda said again, following Cillian out of the lavatory before noticing Siobhan standing there, watching the scene unfold. It was quite obvious to Siobhan that something had happened between her brother and Amanda again , and she couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment wash over her. She had always known that Amanda was bad news for Cillian, but she had never interfered. After all, Cillian was a grown man, capable of making his own decisions.

But now, seeing him stumble out of the bathroom, looking dazed and disoriented, with Amanda's lipstick covering his face , Siobhan couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"Cillian, what the hell is going on?" she demanded, her voice firm and stern.

Cillian looked at her, guilt written all over his face. "I messed up," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No shit! You dumbass!" Siobhan exclaimed, wrapping her arm around Cillian's waist as she led him towards the smoking area out the back.

"Did you two just...?" she asked, raising her eyebrows pointedly as she gestured towards the lavatory door.

Cillian sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "It's not what you think," he muttered, incoherently as he stumbled along the pathway.

"Then what is it, Cillian?" Siobhan demanded, her frustration growing by the second. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you just fucked your ex-girlfriend in a dirty fucking toilet while your new girlfriend is sitting at home, looking after your daughter!"

"I didn't cheat," Cillian insisted, though his voice lacked conviction. "We didn't do anything. Well, not really. I mean, we fooled around I suppose and-" Cillian started to explain before got rather sick. "I think, I am going to be sick," he muttered, making his way towards the bushes outside to empty his stomach.

Siobhan watched him with a mixture of concern and frustration.

"Fucking hell, Cillian! How much did you have to drink you eejit?" Siobhan sighed, rubbing her temples as she waited for Cillian to finish retching. "Just-just let me talk some sense into you for a moment, okay?" she added, grabbing her brother's arm and guiding him towards a nearby bench.

Cillian nodded weakly, swallowing back the bile that still lingered in his throat. "I know I fucked up," he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to steady himself.