OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 59

Her words lingered in your mind as you left the office, dazed, confused, and heartbroken. The short walk back to your car seemed like an eternity, as if the streets of Dublin had somehow elongated into a never-ending labyrinth of despair.

The moment you climbed into the driver's seat, the tears flowed freely, unleashing the torrent of emotions that had been mounting since your confrontation with Cillian.

This was a mess, for you and for Mara. You were determined to make things works for the sake of your daughter but felt at fault for now screwing it up by somehow leading Cillian to think that you were ready to forgive him.

You felt guilt for sleeping with him that night after a heated argument and now you had to deal with the consequences of his and your own emotional turmoil.

You cranked up the car and decided to head back to your mother's house for now, putting on a brave face to pick up Mara.

When you arrived at her house however, your mother immediately

noticed that something was wrong. She was a perceptive woman and knew you well enough to recognize when something was amiss. You tried to put on a smile and explain that everything was alright, but she wasn't convinced.

After a while, you finally decided to open up to her about what had happened with Cillian in counselling. You were hoping that she would have some words of wisdom to help you navigate this unexpected turn of events.

"He wants Mara three days a week and negotiate care during the times that he is away on an as needed basis through a mediator, prior to filming. This means Mara wouldn't even have time with the both of us, together, as a family. This was what we have been working on so hard, just for him to throw it all away?" you told her, reading from his solicitor's letter which explained, in detail, the proposed parenting plan and mediation document.

She listened quietly, then pulled you into a warm embrace. "He is hurting Y/N, but I have known him long enough to believe that he will come around again. He might just need some time and some distance from you ," she whispered, rocking you gently.

You let out a heavy sigh, nodding in silent agreement. You knew she was right. Despite everything that had happened, you couldn't help but still care for him. You wanted nothing more than for the two of you to find a way to co-parent Mara peacefully and amicably, without the constant tension and hostility that had become the norm.

As mother and daughter released each other from their embrace, your mum placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "It will all work out and, until it does, just make sure Mara gets the one on one time with her father she needs. I made this mistake myself, alienating you from your father out of spite and anger, and I see how much it still affects you. Let's not repeat this. Mara will need her father and his love, as much as she needs you and yours, no matter what happens between the two of you.," she said, her eyes filled with wisdom and understanding.

You looked at her, appreciating her words of wisdom more than ever. She was right. You needed to put your differences aside for the sake of Mara's well-being.

"I know and I have no problem with him spending time with her on his own, but I just wanted her to have a family union too rather than a mum at one house and a dad at another," you explained, as you wiped away your tears.

"I know dear, but sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to, and we need to find a way to make the best of it. It isn't ideal, but it's better than not having a relationship with her father at all," she replied, soothingly.

After a few moments of silence, you composed yourself and prepared to leave with Mara as it was getting close to her bedtime already.

Surprisingly, she settled quiet easily that night even though your mother gave her more sweets than you would usually have approved of. Finding it hard to shake off thoughts of Cillian and the recent counseling session, you found yourself in Mara's room, lying beside her, wishing for everything to be different.