OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 41

Once Cillian and Amanda settled down in the living room with a glass of wine each, Amanda asked what it was that made him upset. The fact that he had invited her in after all she did was surprising to her and she knew that there must have been something that was troubling him. She watched him as he sat down on the couch, his shoulders slouched and his eyes distant as he took a long sip of his wine.

"Cillian, is everything okay?" Amanda asked tentatively, not wanting to intrude but still feeling concerned for him.

Cillian let out a deep sigh before finally speaking. "No, it's not. But, it doesn't matter, really," Cillian replied, his voice laced with a hint of sadness and disappointment.

"What happened?" Amanda asked, concerned and confused about the sadness in his eyes, which she hadn't seen before.

"I proposed to Y/N tonight, but she said no," Cillian admitted, his voice somber and tinged with disappointment. "Well, she didn't say yes, you know. She just said she needed time," Cillian added, trying to lighten the mood, but Amanda could tell that he was deeply hurt by your refusal.

"Why did she say no?" Amanda asked, genuinely curious about the situation and trying to understand why Y/N would refuse such a proposal.

"She said she wasn't ready for it yet. And I get that, I really do. But, I guess we are just on different wavelengths sometimes and I don't actually think that she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her, which is really fucking difficult for me to deal with," Cillian continued, looking down at his wine glass with a mixture of sadness and frustration.

"I'm sorry," Amanda said, her voice soft and sympathetic as she reached out to take his hand in hers.

Cillian looked up at her and gave a small smile before nodding. "Yeah, it is. But, what can you do, right? I love her, and I just have to keep going and hope that she comes around eventually."

"Cillian, this might sound harsh, but you do realize that she is very young still. She probably just wants to experience life a little more before settling down, don't you think?" Amanda asked, squeezing Cillian's hand reassuringly.

"I know, I know. But the thing is, I'm not getting any younger. And I don't want to wait around for her to be ready. I want to start a life with her now," Cillian replied, his voice tinged with frustration.

"You can't force her to be with you though and I am not saying that this is what you are doing, but perhaps she feels a little overwhelmed by it all. She just a baby too and this can really be hard on a young woman like her," Amanda tried to reassure him, but it only made Cillian feel more frustrated.

"I'm not trying to force her. She just wants to take it slow and that's perfectly fine, I get that. I love her, and I want her to be happy. But at the same time, I just want her to show some kind of commitment," Cillian admitted, as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "She doesn't want to go to these fucking Award shows with me in a few weeks' time, making excuses and I honestly feel that it is because of the age difference between us. Maybe she is embarrassed or maybe she is reevaluating her life choices. I don't fucking know," Cillian said, his frustration mounting as he took a deep breath and downed the rest of his wine.

Amanda listened intently, feeling a strange sense of understanding towards you while, at the same time, seeing an opportunity here for herself, to get what she wanted.

"She's a silly girl then, Cillian. Most women I know would give anything for an opportunity to be by your site," she thus said carefully and with a gentle voice while Cillian topped up his wineglass, filling to the brim.