OUR LITTLE SECRET

Part 28

Days quickly passed and, whilst you had to stay in hospital a little longer with Baby Mara, your wellbeing improved rather quickly.

While you were recovering, Cillian took care of everything, including finding a wonderful midwife who would continue to help you recover at home with proper postpartum care.

Cillian also made sure that the house was prepared for your arrival. He stocked up the fridge and transformed your bedroom into a cozy sanctuary, complete with a changing table, rocking chair, and dresser stocked with diapers, wipes, and creams.

He knew that, for at least a week or two, you needed some more rest and recovery, especially with a newborn to tend to and Cillian offered to stay with you and Mara a little longer.

You accepted his offer and when you finally brought your baby girl home, Cillian was there to assist you, changing her diapers and bathing her.

He also cooked meals for you, even though he admitted that he hated cooking, he managed to pull off some delicious dishes, making sure that you ate properly to replenish your strength after your traumatic experience.

He even helped you sleep by staying at your house at night and taking turns feeding Mara, soothing her cries, until, after about day five, she wouldn't relent anymore and refused to take her bottle.

Having a bottle was not for her that night and, no matter how hard Cillian tried, she just wouldn't accept it. He would try to console her, rocking her gently in his arms, humming a soothing tune, but nothing seemed to work.

It was 3 o'clock in the morning, and neither of you had slept much, except for the brief catnaps stolen during the periods when Mara finally fell asleep.

"I am sorry, Y/N," he peaked through the door of your bedroom, holding his crying infant in his arm. "I can't settle her. She won't take the bottle," Cillian said, his voice laced with frustration and fatigue as he paced the room, trying to soothe the baby with an endearing rock-and-pat motion. "I've tried singing the same song you sing to her, but she keeps crying," he admitted, his gaze flickering between you and the wailing infant nestled in his arms.

You yawned tirelessly before turning on the bedside table lamp , illuminating the room with a soft glow. "Let me try," you whispered as you reached for your nursing pillow, feeling the remnants of sleep lift from your weary body.

Cillian then approached you with your crying infant and you gingerly reached out to take Mara from his arms, wincing slightly as the baby squirmed and cried louder. "Shh, shh," you murmured soothingly, cradling her close to your chest and swaying gently in place. "It's okay, baby girl," you cooed, pressing your cheek against hers as you nuzzled her gently.

"Mommy's here," you reassured her, inhaling deeply, basking in the intoxicating scent of her soft skin before lifting up your singlet top and exposing your breast.

"Lets try this," you whispered encouragingly, positioning her face against your chest, your heart pounding rapidly in your chest as you awaited her reaction.

To your surprise, she immediately latched onto your nipple while Cillian's eyes widened.

"Your breasts have gotten so big," he blurted out nervously, his gaze flickering between you and Mara as you nursed your baby contentedly. His cheeks reddened, causing you to chuckle softly, breaking the tension.

"Wow, Cillian," you chuckled. "Really?" you shook your head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare," he mumbled in embarrassment, averting his gaze, as you shifted Mara to your other breast while watching him intently.

"It's okay," you laughed, watching him yawn before almost collapsing on the edge of the bed, right by your side.

You could sense that he was tired and this wasn't exactly surprising to you. After all, he was a fair bit older than you and he had spent day and night looking after you and Mara while, in between, giving some interviews and the like for the promotion of his movie.

This made for an exhausting schedule and he needed to rest, desperately. But seeing him there, looking so utterly tired, yet still being attentive to your needs and those of the baby, made you fall in awe with him even more these days.

Lately, he was such a gentleman, a wonderful man and the father of your child. That realization hit you like a ton of bricks and suddenly, your tiredness disappeared.

You turned your attention to Cillian who tried desperately to stay awake. Leaning over him, kissing his forehead, and whispering softly in his ear: "I got this for a while, Cillian. Go ahead and rest. I'll be fine," you whispered softly, your fingers lightly grazing Cillian's forehead, watching him visibly relax in response. The exhaustion on his face was apparent, and you felt a rush of gratitude for his unwavering commitment to you and Mara.

"Hmm," Cillian muttered groggily, his voice muffled against your pillow. "Just give me a few minutes," he pleaded as you watched him struggle to remain conscious, his eyelids fluttering open and shut like tiny butterflies caught in a sudden gust of wind.

"Go to sleep, Cillian," you murmured, patting his hand gently before focusing your full attention on Mara.

The baby suckled softly, her tiny body squirming comfortably against yours. Her hunger satisfied, she soon drifted off to sleep too, her soft snores filling the air.

You sat there, breastfeeding your baby girl, watching her fall asleep peacefully. A wave of relief washed over you. Finally, after days of relentless worry and stress, things were starting to settle down. You felt overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who had supported you - your friends, Cillian's sister Siobhan, and especially Cillian. Without him, you didn't know how you would have coped through this challenging period.

Carefully then, you placed Mara into the basinet near your bed, swaddling her snugly, making sure she was safe and sound. Once she was secure, you decided to lie down on the bed beside Cillian, who was already dozing off, a small smile on his lips.

Your body ached, but you were incredibly grateful that your daughter was healthy and thriving. Even though your situation with your mother was less than ideal, you were immensely thankful for the support of Cillian and felt as though your bond was growing stronger.

Even Max came to visit you and his little sister now which was a little odd but also exciting. Cillian made an effort to involve him into everything and he seemed to care a lot for Mara, even though his mother kept pointing out to him that Mara was not, in fact, his sister.

You secretly hoped that Max would become a positive influence on Mara, fostering love and acceptance in her life and that, maybe one day, Cillian would realize that he had feelings for you just as you have feelings for him.

Although you couldn't deny the chemistry between you, you had both chosen to suppress any romantic notions due to your complicated relationship with each other. But you were confident that one day, you would overcome your fears and embrace your budding romance.