The Way I Loved You

Bliss

Haein woke up to an unexpectedly cold bed, the warm body beside her gone without a trace. Where did Hyunwoo go? Her eyebrows knitted in her signature frown, she felt about his side of the bed, realising that it was cold. He had left quite a while ago. She sighed, the disappointment weighing heavily in her chest. She'd wanted to wake up in his arms, feel the reassuring weight of his muscular arms as she slowly blinked awake. It had been so long since she last woke up naturally without an alarm clock at the crack of dawn and she'd hoped to enjoy the luxury of a slow morning with her husband.

A paranoid thought arose in her mind. Did he leave her? He had been so loving towards her yesterday, even asking if he could sleep in the same bed as her. He wouldn't just abandon her like that right?

The idea sent a jolt of panic through her chest. Her initial sleepiness gone, she leapt out of bed, going out to the living room where they'd left their luggage last night. Turning around the corner, her steps slowed, hesitant to walk out and face reality. What if it had all been too good to be true? What if she'd hallucinated the entire thing? Or worse, what if he came to his senses and left her?

Her heart in her throat, she took one slow step at a time. There was no point in delaying the truth, it was not as if finding out any later would change reality, but she wanted to live in the blissful ignorance of thinking that her husband loved her for just a little longer even if it wasn't true. Painstakingly slow, she cast her gaze across the room, the air leaving her lungs when she saw his familiar luggage beside hers.

Oh, thank god.

She sank to the ground in relief, her legs feeling like jelly as the relief washed over her. She had been scared, so scared. Drawing her legs to her chest, her head dropped, her forehead resting on her knees as sobs bubbled from her lips. Salty tears dripped off her chin, swirling in a mixture of relief and sadness.

She was so relieved and grateful that he'd chosen to remain by her side, that he hadn't run away again. But for a moment, she'd experienced the pain of being without him after their reconciliation, and now she wasn't sure she could handle the heartbreak of leaving him behind when she died. She hadn't truly realised it before her diagnosis, but Hyunwoo was the greatest gift she'd been given. Now that he was finally back in her life, she couldn't bear to let him go. im go.

Haein remained curled up in her position on the floor for a while, waiting for the current waves of emotion to pass. Is this what happens when you're dying? Or was it simply a side effect of her tumour? She felt like she was getting overwhelmed by emotions more frequently in recent times. It was harder to compartmentalise and shove away her feelings like she always did, instead experiencing them at full force, unable to maintain her stoic composure for once.

When her tears finally ceased and the aching of her heart calmed to a dull throb, she picked herself up again, dragging herself off the cold floor. It was then that she noticed the yellow post it note he'd left for her in the middle of the television screen.

Out to get breakfast, be back soon. Love you.

It was written in his lawyer scrawl, his messy handwriting whenever he was trying to be efficient because his mind often churned out ideas faster than he could write. He had even drawn a lopsided heart at the end, a testament to his questionable art skills. Her heart fluttered again, something that it had been doing a lot more often since they started talking to each other again.

Now reassured that he was coming back for her, Haein settled on the couch, getting out her laptop to check her emails. Ever the workaholic, she was never truly away from work. Yesterday, she had been so upset about everything that transpired that she neglected to check her inbox. Having spent an entire day out of touch with what was going on at Queens, there was a nagging anxiety to update herself in case something happened.