The Way I Loved You

Apart

Hyunwoo's decision to move out of their room erected sky high walls between them, both physically and emotionally. It showed how he couldn't bear her presence to the extent of refusing to sleep in the same bed as her.

She felt empty without him. His bedroom slippers were gone from their usual spot beside hers, his pyjamas, his belts, his cologne, everything. There were strange empty spots around the room, space once reserved for him. But the biggest empty space of all was the one beside her. She had never slept in the same bed as anyone before they started dating, but now she couldn't get used to sleeping alone. It was strange without the warmth of his body

Hugging a pillow to her chest, she cried.

The only time she truly allowed herself to break down and show weakness was when she was truly alone. More than once, she had run the shower at full blast just so she could cry when her family was being especially spiteful to her without Hyunwoo hearing. Sitting in the tub until her eyes weren't red and puffy anymore, she'd continue smiling at him as if nothing was wrong in the world.

Now, without him, she could cry freely with him being none the wiser in the other room.

She was terrified. Terrified that this was their breaking point and he would turn his back on her just like everyone else in her life.

This morning, she had discovered with horror that although all his belongings were gone, he had left his wedding ring here. All the blood drained from her face when the realisation sank in: was he leaving her for good?

Maybe he'd just left it here on accident and forgot it. He did have the habit or removing his ring whenever he took a shower or when he slept. But what if it wasn't? What if this was his way of saying that he was going to cut all ties with her? What if she woke up one morning and he was just... gone?

The idea of living in this big empty house alone was unfathomable. She couldn't live without him. He was like the sunshine after a rainy day with work and her family piling stress on her shoulders. Without the sun, she would wither away, drowning in her sorrows.

...

Should he check on her? He hadn't seen her all day but he was sure she was in her room because he heard the shower running earlier.

He wondered how she was doing. He was so used to being able to tell how her day went by a single glance at her face that it felt weird being completely clueless. It was tempting to simply cross the hallway and see what she was doing, but he was still upset over the nursery.

The fact that she moved everything out without a word to him, without giving him enough time to grieve, drove a stake through his heart. They were supposed to be in this together. Right now, they should be grieving together, being there for each other even though the tough times, but they weren't.

Hyunwoo regretted moving out. He'd done it impulsively in retaliation. If she wasn't going to tell him about the nursery, he wasn't going to tell her that he was moving out either. He wanted her to hurt as much as he did, but deep in his heart, he knew that he was fighting her own demons too.

Lying in bed, he stared at the single glowing star on the ceiling. It had been his childhood dream to have stars on his ceiling, and he was so excited for his dream to come true for his future child. He could never forget the nonchalant way in which Haein told the movers to remove every single star on the ceiling, ruthlessly squashing his dreams.

My little star, I hope you're doing okay. Daddy loves you so much.

At least he felt at peace here. It was the closest he could get to being with his baby. But at the same time, he missed the feeling of Haein's body fitting perfectly against his own, and the sound of his own breathing was a lonely echo in the oversized room.

I should check on her.

Before he could convince himself against it once more, he got out of bed and padded quietly to her door.

Haein froze. She could hear the sound of his clothes rustling and see his shadow from beneath the door. Afraid that he would hear her crying, she held her breath and swiped at her cheeks quickly as if it would make any difference.

She could sense his hesitation, from the way his shadow hovered constantly and the way the door shook the slightest bit when he rested his hand on the handle.

Should he open the door? All he wanted was to hold her like he always did and apologise for being rash. But the lights were already dimmed and he couldn't hear a sound. Was she asleep already? Maybe he should talk to her tomorrow morning. She was a light sleeper and he didn't want to risk waking her up and disrupting her rest.

Meanwhile, Haein had gotten up to stand on the other side of the door. Was he coming in or not? Should she go out to him instead? He was so close, yet so far.

Her hand trembled and she barely dared to breathe in case he heard her. Oh how she wanted to fling the door open and fall straight into his comforting arms. But what if that wasn't what he was here for? What if he wanted to tell her that he would be leaving? She couldn't let that happen.

After what felt like an eternity, she heard him shuffle away from the door, his shadow disappearing.

Her hand fell from the handle. A part of her felt relieved, but another felt disappointed. Why didn't he come in?

The next day, his ring disappeared.