The Way I Loved You

Longing and Regret

So I will wait for you like a lonely house

Till you see me again and live in me

Till then my windows ache

- Pablo Neruda

Yeongsuk, coin baseball, Grandma's Home Cooking, running at the elementary school, taking care of a stray cat. Why were there so many things about him that she didn't know about?

The story of Yeongsuk made her want to laugh. Did that idiot still believe in her made up story after nearly four years? It was comical how he was a genius, yet he believed everything she said with a childlike innocence. Surely he must have failed to find the elusive raccoon after all these years, yet he still believed that she was telling the truth. It was... cute as much as she hated to admit it.

Coin baseball? Was that his hobby? She never knew that he was into baseball. How many interests did this guy have? He seemed to be into everything. Why would he play coin baseball at the rundown place when he could have gotten the entire machine installed in Queenstown?

And why was he going to eat dinner outside alone when five course meals were being served daily by Michelin chefs at home? Did he hate eating with her that much? It wasn't as if they sat at the same side of the table anyway, did he resent even breathing the same air as her?

Running and singing at the elementary school? They had a state of the art gym for a reason! Why on earth was he running in public? Not to mention that he looked wasted in that video, it was a PR accident waiting to happen. Why would he run in his fancy Italian suits when he has an entire wardrobe of clothes suited for every occasion at home?

Him caring for a stray cat was the least surprising fact. Of course he would. It was in Hyunwoo's nature to help anyone that needed it, he'd even gone to the extent of giving the manager she was going to fire a heads up, going against her behind her back.

She scoffed at the thought. He'd gone out of his way to help an employee that he barely knew, but he betrayed his own wife. How ironic.

How much was there that she didn't know? He was right when he'd questioned if she should be considered someone close to him. They had been physically close, living under the same roof, but their hearts were worlds apart. The fact that he didn't even know about his hobbies was glaring evidence of that. All those times when he'd come home late and refused dinner from the staff, all those times that he didn't even come home, where had he gone?

Was there truth in what he said? That she had been neglecting their marriage too?

Not to mention how he'd been sending condolence money and flowers to their staff members in her name when she'd known nothing about it. He'd even been the one to visit in person which was how she ran into him at the funeral home.

"Why did you send flowers? And the condolence money? Stop playing. You disgust me." She spat. Why was he still bothering to do all these nice things for her when the game was already up? Was he trying to rub it in her face? That he'd managed to fool her so easily for over a month and she was completely clueless? The idea made her blood boil.

When he didn't respond and simply looked at her with those woeful eyes of his, it made her angrier. Why was he acting guilty? As if he felt any remorse for what he did. If he was truly sorry, he should have never done any of that in the first place.

"Even if I lose my memory down the road, I will never forget what you did to me. You let go of my hand when I was the most helpless." For the first time since she found out, she finally gave him a glimpse into her heart. His betrayal felt like he'd thrown her into a raging sea, the same one that took her brother and she was now being tossed relentlessly by the crashing waves which threatened to drown her once and for all after it had failed the last time.