All the Young Dudes ( Sirius' Perspective )

Second Year : Assumptions

The problem with trying to find a solution to his upcoming betrothal was that anytime Sirius thought about it, his chest got tight, and his throat closed up, and he felt very hot and very cold all at once. It was much easier not to think about it at all; to pretend it wasn’t happening, or that it was happening to someone else. In fact, the more Sirius tried to picture it, the more he became sure that he would never be getting married. He couldn’t imagine ever wanting to spend the rest of his life cooped up in a house with some girl.

So although James had tasked the marauders with a new mission, they didn’t spring into action immediately. Instead, they spent most of the weekend after his birthday indulging Sirius’s whims. They listened to Bowie; they explored a new secret passage that led from a fourth-floor broom cupboard to a painting near the astronomy tower; they dropped ink-spraying quills into unsuspecting students’ bags. He knew that his friends were all treading carefully, exchanging worried glances behind his back and treating him a little more gently than usual. But Sirius was perfectly willing to take advantage of the special treatment if it meant he got his way for a full weekend—Peter didn’t even whinge once, and he could always be counted on to complain.

Besides, the only way to show his friends that he was fine and that they didn’t have to tiptoe around him was to act fine. Sirius plastered on a smile and dragged them all into a whirlwind of activity that left them too exhausted on Saturday night to discuss anything having to do with his family. He slept deeply, dreaming that he was choking on platinum blonde hair.

It wasn’t until Sunday afternoon that his luck began to run out. James was endlessly patient, but Remus and Peter had begun to have enough of doing whatever Sirius said. After lunch, he suggested that they test out the time-delay spell on the dung bombs (he’d forgotten to leave them in the Slytherin common room, what with everything that had happened). Remus groaned.

“I do have homework, y’know.”

They were lying in their dorm room, Ziggy Stardust playing for the thousandth time in the background. Sirius threw a sock at him.

“Swot.”

“Tosser.”

Peter swallowed, darting a nervous glance at Sirius, “I actually really need to get started on my Herbology essay..."

“Ugh, not you, too.”

“I know for a fact that you haven’t even started that essay,” Remus pointed out, “Why don’t we go to the library?”

“Does marauding mean nothing to you?” Sirius threw an arm dramatically over his eyes, “Our noble mission, trampled beneath the feet of academic drivel!” He could feel Remus rolling his eyes from across the room.

“I’ll help you, Sirius,” James said gamely, “You lads can run along to the library if you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, go on Pete! At least one of us has to write that Herbology essay—otherwise who’ll the rest of us copy?”

So they split up, Remus and Peter heading off to the library while Sirius and James took the invisibility cloak down to the dungeon. Once there, they ended up splitting up again—the downside to the time delay spell was that they couldn’t guarantee there’d be a victim around when it went off, and if they wanted to cover as much ground as possible before James’s quidditch practice in the evening, they couldn’t stay together.