All the Young Dudes ( Sirius' Perspective )

Fourth Year : December

The girl on the phone wouldn’t leave me alone

A throw back from someone’s LP

A lemon in a bag played a Tiger Rag

And the bodies on the screen stopped bleeding

Yeah! I was shaking like a leaf

For I couldn’t understand the conversation

Yeah! I ran to the street, looking for information

Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man!

He talks like a jerk but he could eat you with a fork and spoon

Watch that man! Oh honey, watch that man!

He walks like a jerk but he’s only taking care of the room

Must be in tune

Wednesday 4th December 1974

As promised, McGonagall gave them all three weeks detention – which meant lines and extra homework. To ensure that they were properly penitent, she also banned them from Hogsmeade until the new year—which Peter seemed particularly upset about, for some reason, even after James assured him that they’d still be able to sneak over to Honeyduke's for sweets.

Sirius, however, had more important things to worry about than missing out on a few Zonko’s runs and a handful of butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks. The problem he found himself facing as November surrendered quietly to December was much more concerning than any detention, more frightening than McGonagall’s anger, and more baffling than the voice-changing charm that Flitwick had them all working on.

Girls. The problem that Sirius had to deal with, once again, was girls.

Ever since Peter had spilled the beans about the snogging bet, they’d started following him around. He hadn’t noticed at first, paying no mind to the giggling groups of friends that seemed to materialize wherever he was—studying in the library, playing gobstones in the common room, walking with his mates to get breakfast in the Great Hall. He’d assumed that they just also happened to be there, largely unobtrusive background noise. Sirius Black was not particularly observant—not unless something was worth observing.

But then, one evening, Remus snapped. The marauders were studying in the library (well—Remus and James were studying. Peter had fallen asleep on his Astronomy book, and Sirius was trying to figure out how to charm the constellations off the pages and onto his face), one table over from a group of girls that had been giggling and whispering for the past half hour. After a particularly high-pitched round of squealing, Remus slammed his hands on the table.

“That’s it!” He declared, shoving his chair back to stand, “I’m leaving.”

“What?” Sirius looked up from where he had his wand poised above Peter’s nose. He’d just managed to move Capricorn onto the bridge of the sleeping boy’s nose.

“Honestly, Black…can’t take you anywhere…hardly hear myself think!” Remus grumbled, collecting his things. James shook his head, amused.