All the Young Dudes ( Sirius' Perspective )

The War : Late Spring 1979

Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom

Well, who am I to keep you down?

It’s only right that you should play the way you feel it

But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering what you had

And what you lost

And what you had

And what you lost

 

They spent the next two nights in the room above the pub, following Moody’s instructions to “lie low.” The first evening, Marlene returned to check on Remus and bring him a potion for his chest infection. She instructed him, sternly, to rest, but by the next morning Remus insisted that he would go mad if he had to stay cooped up in the little room, so they ventured out and caught the bus down to the beach.

It was the off season, still too cold for swimming, and the beach was nearly empty—just a few other people walking along the shoreline off in the distance. So Sirius and Remus held hands as they walked, slowly, over the damp sand, listening to the shush of the waves against the shore. Remus tilted his head towards the sky, breathing deeply and smiling.

“When we get home,” Sirius said, cheerfully, “We’ll go to Ollivander’s to get you a new wand.”

“Great.” Remus replied, looking out towards the sea.

“That’s if Mary’ll hold off on your welcome home party,” Sirius nudged him, “She was going bonkers worrying. I think she must still have a thing for you.”

“Ha.” Remus smiled, distractedly.

“And Lily, obviously. She really wants to tell you something, but she said to wait until we’re all in the same room.”

“Mm.”

“Can’t wait for everything to be back to normal. Back to being marauders, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“D’you remember what sort of wand Lyall had? Maybe you can get the same one again.”

“Nope.”

“Moony?”

“Mm?”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius fell silent, not sure what else to say. Ever since Moody had left, Remus had been quiet and withdrawn, staring off into space or out the window with a faraway look in his eyes. Sirius didn’t know what to make of it—he had missed Remus so much, and now he finally had him back, and yet…it felt as if part of Moony was still missing, locked away behind another one of his impenetrable walls.

Remus must have sensed his discomfort, because after a few minutes of walking in silence he said, lightly,

“So nice to be outside.”