Ch.28: Who Are You Cassidy?

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Cassidy's.P.O.V:

The week had passed in another blur of time and space.

Again, I've been fine, but have begun to notice some of the things that had been pointed out to me. Little moments where everyone started laughing but my head was just somewhere else, even I didn't know where it traveled. Even though I'm supposed to be the more chilled one who cracks jokes, here I was inside my own head, doubting every move I make before it's even made, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, or if it's just another big mistake...

Then, as per usual, when me and Olivia meet again it all just fades off of me. Sure I still feel a sense of anxiety hiding in the background, but she makes it easy to shove it away and focus on her instead.
Everything in my world has gotten easier since I've been able to do that. Her presence brings me focus, happiness, stability, a sense of peace.

That all goes to say that I'm thankful and trusting of her when she says I should pursue therapy, so here I was, a few minutes early, waiting outside my new therapist's office.

Olivia was correct when she said we wouldn't be able to schedule an appointment right away, because a week had already passed since the day I agreed. Nonetheless I was still looking forward to it, and not letting myself self doubt into a corner until I change my mind.

I somehow didn't notice the door opening and my therapist standing there waiting for me. "Cassidy.. Hall?" She hesitated for a moment, before realizing who I was.

I snap my head up in shock before shifting myself to stand. "Oh, shit, sorry, yeah." I stumble over my words a bit before landing in front of her to shake hands. "Lovely to have you dear, I'm Penny Walsh. A good friend and client of mine originally tipped me off that you would be here, and I actually recognize your last name from your mother." We were already inside by the time her sentence finished, in our respective seats, including me who nervously padded the space around me before settling into the cushion.

"Oh yeah, that would have been my girlfriend then." I said nervously, even though she was about to know a ton of shit about me anyways.

"Really? You're dating Olivia? We haven't had a session in so many months, I didn't realize such a development in her life had occurred." She said surprised, yet nonjudgmental.

"Y-yeah, we've been together for a little while now. We're like totally in love already and.. yeah. I guess that is probably one of the things that makes me fucked up, I mean, dating my best friend's mother? It's not the most normal thing in the world right?" I asked, even though I was sure I knew the answer by now.

"Not completely. There are many more odd occurrences out there Cassidy, it's just about how you internalize and view your own scenario. Are you happy with the way you live your life, does it make you feel guilty 24/7 even when you shouldn't be, or do you enjoy the company of your partner and love each other to death? Because that's all that truly matters at the end of the day." She finishes with another genuine yet professional smile from the other side of her desk.

"I would agree more with the final bit. We are each other's entire world at this point, and I honestly can't imagine it any other way without feeling miserable with myself." I give more truth before clarifying one point. "I do feel somewhat miserable when I'm not around her though." When I'm finished I look to her again, and notice her encouraging me to expand on the point.
"I just... with her everything feels complete. No matter how wrong it may have felt in the beginning, all of those feelings are gone now, at least I hope so. But the heart of my issues are probably a battle within my own mind... which I don't really know the origin of." I finish, shaking my head in defeat.

"And that's fine. That's why I'm here, I'll help you work through those issues you can't quite figure out on your own. The human mind is so incredibly complex, we can't be expected to sift through and decode all the information it throws at us every single day. That's what's so good about having a therapist such as myself to talk it through with." She finishes her long winded statement with another welcoming smile. "Is that alright Cassidy?" She asks after another small moment of silence.

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