March 2015
Sometimes, you end up finding someone who seems to be the answer to all of your prayers. Someone who brings the sun in your life and the calm to your unstable thoughts. A person who makes complicated things easy, that makes you realize that your worries is just a speck of dust in your total existence and your way bigger than them.
Someone who will make you believe that it's okay if you don't have it all figured out, that it's okay for you to have a messy heart. A person who would let you figure it out on your own and yet would help you when you reach out for a hand. Someone who will make things easy for you.
Earn was an epitome of easy, kind and beautiful all molded in one. She spoke nothing of that night, never questioned the reason behind the multiple kisses I laid on her lips to why she found herself trapped between my arms the morning after as she swiftly moves away from me to cook me breakfast. She engaged me with normal conversations with her sister as her scent from her hoodie and from last night's events wrap around my body.
She talks with me in class like normal person would, she would still laugh at my jokes and offer her food every now and then. She would ask me when I keep zoning out to rub her thumb on the back of my hand, hoping it will help me in a way and it does.
She helped me in wonderful way she's not aware of. Her mere existence helps me a lot.
The way she would distract me when I find myself staring at Milk and Love from across the cafeteria at lunch as they laugh as well. She could distract me from the thoughts that Milk doesn't notices that I am sitting a few tables away from them in a crowded room like this. Those thoughts that hits your chest differently because I always tend to find myself looking at someone who can no longer see me, and yet when I look at Earn, I can always see the way her eyes lit up, and how her smile grows as as I smile back at her.
We didn't kiss after last night, we've become better friends or something like that. I don't know really, she never asked and I didn't initiate to explain. But the way she would reach out and hold my hand under the table as she occupies herself with our school work as if she knows that I am staring, she assures me that everything is fine with us.
We all want it easy, don't we?
To have people who are there for us when we need them. Who looks at you the same way you look at them. Who would reach out to touch you without having yourself to do it all. We want to have someone who hugs you back, kisses you back somehow loves you in a way you wanted to be loved. I want it easy.
"Hey."
I whisper against her shoulder where my chin rests. I hear her hum in response as she continues to write on her notebook. "Nothing." I sigh.
In an instant, her pen stops moving and she slowly turns her head towards me. Our cheeks almost touching, an intimate act like it's something natural when we're alone in a secluded area of the library works just fine too.
"Anything wrong?"
"Nope."
I moved to lay my head on her shoulder, I can feel the smile on her face when her cheeks leans on my forehead.
"What? You need your daily dose of affection or something?" She chuckles
I swiftly move away from her, but not too far. Just enough for me to see her teasing smile, something I randomly want to brush with a kiss but I don't do it anyway.
