May 2016
6:00 pm
How can I unloved you? How do I let this flow out of my heart as easy as a water falls.
I am never the poet in real life. Never the hopeless romantic type of a person. I always knew where to stand. I intend to keep those words that I wanted to say. I never spoke about my feelings for her. So the real question is, how do I forget the name that makes my heart ache and flutter at the same time? How do I stop loving her?
My assigned room is just two doors apart from her.
She was so pretty in her dress earlier. I bet tomorrow she would be even more beautiful with tears on her eyes because she's marrying the love of her life.
Tell me, how do I take all the pain away? How do I unloved my best friend few hours away from her wedding day?
All I wanted is to be there for her, in every step towards her happiness, the happiness she deserve.
Who am I kidding? I have never given her the things she deserves because if I did, I won't be writing this goddamn diary entry of losing the person whom I love dearly.
I would have been thinking of my vows and stand on my ground at the altar looking at her like she's all I ever see, the most beautiful girl in town even if her make up is ruined by tears. I don't get the girl or be the person who married her best friend.
But no, I get to be the person who helps her tie her life with the woman she deserves. I get to be the best friend who watches her love of her life get married first. I just get to be the coward in this life time.
I get to be the best friend whom she shared her childhood days and that's all I've ever be.
This is the last time I'll write in in this diary where I found comfort when things gets tough and hurtful. This is the ending I have been waiting for the longest time. Too bad it wasn't the ending that I've been praying for.
-
"Ciize, everyone is going down for dinner, aren't you coming?"
"Coming mom, wait for me.
Ciize puts down her pen right after she finish her entry. Closing the book and leaving it in the table since no one was rooming with her. She fixed herself before opening the door and was greeted by her Mom and June.
"Let's go Ciize. I know you're already starving."
"You bet, June."
She smiled the best way possible and put her arms around June's shoulder. They went to the dinning hall with all of the guest. She kept quiet, she only listened to the stories of her friends about some awful experience but still end up playing with her phone.
When people started to chant and clapping towards the entrance she looked up only to see two people with huge smiles. The two beautiful brides.
"God, I can't believe they're getting married tomorrow! Seems like it was yesterday when you introduce them to each other, right Ciize?"
"Yeah. Seems like it is..."
She whispered.
"You okay girl?"
"Yes. I think I was just full from the food I ate. Maybe I needed to take a walk. Excuse me."
Just when Ciize is about to stand, June hold her hand to stop her.
"You want some company?"
