Ghostly Figure

Chapter 26: Reflections

-Yui-

The first thing I notice is the white ceiling above me, unyielding. My head throbs faintly, a dull reminder of everything that's happened.

Where am I?

The question lingers in my mind, heavy and unanswered. I try to focus, but the room remains a blur of sterile white and muted colors.

A sudden jolt of panic hits me as I notice the needle attached to an IV in my hand. My heart skips a beat, and I feel a rush of fear. What's happening?

I force myself to take a deep breath, trying to steady my racing thoughts. My eyes dart around the room, seeking any clue that might explain my surroundings.

Four figures on the floor catch my attention. They are sprawled out in a disorganized mess, their bodies relaxed and vulnerable in sleep. Naruto's spiky blonde hair is half-buried in a pillow, his face turned away from me. Sasuke lies a little distance away, curled up with his arms crossed over his chest, his expression still serious even in slumber. Sakura is closest to my bed, her pink hair splayed out like a halo, her hand nearly touching mine. Ino is next to her, her blonde hair spread across the floor, a faint crease between her brows as if she's dreaming of something troubling.

They're all here.

The thought brings a lump to my throat. But why? Why are they here, watching over me, when I am the one who put them in danger? I try to swallow, but my throat feels tight, constricted by the guilt that has settled deep within me.

My gaze shifts to the couch, where Kurenai-sensei is sleeping, her head tilted back, looking uncomfortable. Just beside my bed, in a chair that seems too small for him, is Kakashi. He's leaning forward slightly, his arms crossed, his head bowed. Even in his sleep, he looks exhausted, worn down by the weight of the world—or perhaps by the weight of my actions.

He stayed. They all stayed.

I want to feel comforted by their presence, but instead, all I feel is a crushing sense of guilt. I could have hurt them.

My mind races with the possibilities. What if my ability had triggered while they were near? What if they had looked into my eyes and seen the horror that lies within me?

I could have killed them all.

The thought makes it hard to breathe. My chest tightens, and I find myself staring at the ceiling, willing it to swallow me whole.

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve their care, their concern. They should be far away from me, somewhere safe. I curl my fingers into the sheets, trying to ground myself, but the guilt feels like a weight, pulling me down.

Why did they stay?

That question echoes in my mind, growing louder with each passing moment. The thought of them suffering because of me is unbearable.

I brought this upon them. I brought this upon Kakashi. I let the guilt wash over me, not fighting it. It feels like a punishment I must endure, a consequence for the pain I've caused.

Kakashi's presence is both comforting and agonizing. I glance at him again, his sleeping form so close.

He's been here all along, watching over me.

The thought should bring solace, but instead, it deepens my sense of shame. I'm a danger to everyone around me. I can't let them suffer because of me.

The room is eerily silent, the only sound my shallow breathing. I close my eyes, trying to shut out the world, trying to quiet the tumult of thoughts in my mind. Maybe if I'm quiet enough, if I keep everything buried deep inside, they won't have to suffer because of me anymore. But the reality is that no matter how quiet I try to be, the damage has already been done.

What if I lose control again?

I shift slightly in the bed, the movement drawing my attention to the IV needle. The sight makes my heart race again, a fresh wave of anxiety crashing over me. I don't belong here. I don't deserve their kindness. I shouldn't be here, surrounded by people who care about me when I've caused so much harm.

I bite my lip, trying to push down the tears that threaten to spill. I can't cry. I don't deserve to cry. My emotions feel like a storm raging inside me, threatening to tear me apart. I want to be strong, to push past the guilt, but it feels impossible.

I'm a danger to everyone around me. How can they look at me with anything other than fear?

As I lie there, the silence of the room pressing down on me, I make a resolve. I have to protect them from me. I have to. Even if it means keeping them at a distance, even if it means lying, I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. They won't have to suffer because of me. Not again.

My thoughts drift back to Kakashi. He's sitting so close, his presence a constant reminder of everything I've put him through. He's seen the worst of me. He's seen what my ability can do. I want to reach out to him, to thank him, but the words feel like a betrayal to the guilt I carry.

Why did he stay? That question repeats over and over in my mind. Why does he care? The answer eludes me, slipping through my grasp like sand. I feel a pang of sorrow for not being able to give them what they deserve—someone who isn't a constant threat, someone who can be trusted.

I stare at the ceiling, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Maybe if I can just stay silent, if I can hide away from them, they won't have to face the danger that I am. But deep down, I know that hiding won't solve anything. It won't erase the damage I've done, won't undo the fear I've caused.

The minutes tick by slowly, each second a reminder of the guilt that weighs heavily on my shoulders. I glance at Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Ino, their sleeping forms a testament to their loyalty and care. They're so trusting. I want to protect them from the world, from myself, but I don't know how.

The room remains silent, save for the distant sounds of the hospital. I feel like an intruder in this place, in this moment. How can I stay here, surrounded by people who care about me, when I'm the one who's dangerous? The guilt and shame feel like a prison, trapping me in a cycle of self-loathing.

Finally, I close my eyes, letting the tears slip free. I need to be strong. I need to protect them. I cling to that resolve, even as it feels like a fragile hope. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll make sure they don't have to suffer because of me.

The minutes stretch into hours, and as I lie there, my body growing heavy with exhaustion, I realize that the path ahead won't be easy. I'll need to find a way to cope with the guilt, to face the fear, and to protect those who care about me. But for now, as I listen to the soft sounds of their breathing and the steady rhythm of Kakashi's presence, I find a small measure of solace in the fact that I'm not alone.

I have to be strong. I have to keep them safe. I repeat the words to myself, a mantra in the darkness of the hospital room.

No matter what it takes, I won't let them suffer because of me. I promise.

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