Holding You, Holding Me. Marta & Fina. Mafin

6. Pushing Bright

The sun was setting, casting shadows through the trees outside. Marta had changed already and was fixing her lipstick in the mirror. The past few days had been much hotter than usual and the open windows weren't making the apartment any cooler. Marta fanned her face with her hand and pulled her hair up off her neck with the other.

"It has gotten so warm! I might have to wear my hair up. What do you think?" Marta's voice was loud enough to carry through the bathroom door where Fina was. She waited for a response but none came. Marta pursed her lips and tilted her head.

"Fina?" she called again.

The bathroom door opened slowly revealing Fina in a beautiful, deep maroon outfit. The neckline cut straight across the top of her collarbone, meeting a looser band of material that dipped down below her shoulder blades. Marta swooned at the way the bodice hugged Fina's waist, cutting up around the curve of her hips. The fabric of the matching skit clung lightly to her thighs as she moved into the kitchen.

Marta gaped at her, taking it all in. She always thought Fina was stunning but she had never seen her look this elegant. Her hair was pulled back into a neat, low bun at the nape of her neck and Marta could see little ruby colored earrings peaking out that matched her lipstick.

Fina hooked her fingers together behind her back and bounced up on the balls of her feet.

"What do you think?" She asked bashfully.

Marta crossed the room with her arms outstretched and her mouth slightly open. She could hardly believe Fina was questioning how she looked.

"I think you look like heaven," Marta purred, reaching Fina's side.

She cupped Fina's face in her hands stroking her cheek. Fina blushed and leaned her head forward to meet Marta's.

"I missed you," Fina whispered resting her hands on Marta's chest and then kissing her, slow and tenderly.

Since Marta hadn't put on shoes yet, Fina was a little taller than her and she had to tilt her head back and push up to her toes to reach her mouth. Marta's heart sped up and then slowed as their lips softened. Fina ran her fingers through Marta's hair and cradled the back of her head with one hand. She inhaled and pulled back.

"Te quiero," Fina sighed, brushing her thumb across Marta's bottom lip.

Marta turned her head to kiss Fina's palm.

"Te quiero mucho," she echoed.

She gazed into Fina's eyes but was met with disconnect. Fina seemed distant. She had been quieter than usual all day and the way she had just kissed Marta felt melancholic, as if they were parting.

"Is everything okay, my love?" Marta asked gently, holding onto Fina's waist.

She tried to sound casual, but had a hard time keeping the unease from bleeding through her voice. Leaning back she searched Fina's face for clues, but Fina wouldn't hold eye contact and then turned away to the kitchen sink to get a glass of water.

"Si. Of course, I'm just tired," Fina assured unconvincingly.

Despite her own worry, Marta decided to not press her just yet. Maybe Fina just needed a little time before talking about whatever was bothering her. Marta slid her arms around Fina's waist from behind, kissing her lightly on the back of her neck but Fina barely softened to her touch, adding to Marta's concern. She pecked her again but backed away. Marta busied herself with finding shoes, small knots in her stomach.

***

Outside, the city had just started buzzing for the evening, restaurants filling up with people, music spilling out onto the street. The nice weather added to the lively atmosphere. Marta inhaled the lush evening air and smiled, picturing the night that awaited them.

Her mind reeled with thoughts of holding hands with Fina, dancing with her, kissing her in front of other people. She could feel anticipation drowning out any apprehension. Marta turned to share her excitement, but saw that Fina was looking at the ground, her hands twisting anxiously around the handle of her purse.

Reaching a quiet part of the block Marta finally decided to ask again,

"My love, what's going on? Whats wrong?"

Her voice was gentle and steady but she was nervous for the response. Everything had been normal until today so she really wasn't sure why Fina seemed so crestfallen.

Fina stopped walking and leaned her back against the building next to them. Still looking at the ground, she sighed and mumbled something that Marta couldn't hear. Marta moved closer and stroked Fina's wrist with just the back of her pinky finger as to not draw attention to themselves.

"I'm sorry honey, I couldn't hear you."

Fina lifted her chin and finally locked eyes with Marta.

"Is this real?" Her voice had an edge to it.

Marta was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Fina shook her head. "Running off for one night, sneaking around all the time, not even being able to kiss you goodbye." She pressed her fingertips to her forehead and closed her eyes." Won't you get sick of it all?"

Marta was hurt that Fina would even think to question her dedication after what they had been through, but took a beat before speaking, not wanting to distress her more.

"Mirame," Marta said plainly.

Fina met her eyes again. Her cheeks were pink and her bottom lip trembled the littlest bit. She looked scared, not angry and Marta softened her reproach. She grasped Fina's hands and turned to face her fully. She needed Fina to know, for certain, that she was in this.

"Fina, I am not going anywhere. This is the realest thing I've ever done. Everything before you was like a kind of show, a circus really. I've spent my entire life playing a part I never fully fit. I don't think I had ever been honest with myself until you."

Marta felt the fierceness in her voice turning almost to tears trying to convince Fina.

"Without you I am unmoored. I would never give this up. This is my everything. You are my everything. My heart is yours, para siempre."

Marta pulled Fina close and kissed her deeply. Fina stiffened at first but then cupped her hands to Marta's cheeks and pressed her body into her's.

Fina pulled back first and looked around. The street was dark, but they were dappled in lamplight through the leaves on the trees. They were lucky, it didn't seem like anyone had seen them.

Marta glanced around too but mostly kept her eyes on Fina. It might have been stupid, but in the moment she really only cared about reassuring her. She couldn't risk losing her again.

She stepped back and dropped her hands to clasp Fina's. Noticing the little bandaid still on her finger she brought it to her lips.

Fina smiled bashfully and laughed, "What am I going to do with you?"

Her fears seemed to have been soothed for now and in turn Marta's were too.

Marta squeezed Fina's hand and replied, "Now come on. We've got to find this party so I can kiss you properly."