LESEGO: HER TRAP

Chapter 15

KGOMOTSO

I remember there was a day that my mother sat Mahlodi and I down and taught us how spiritual sex is. She said it's not just about being intimate, but it's also about people connecting spiritually. That people become one in spirit once they've had it. People's souls are attached.

She said it could be spiritually dangerous if you have it with the wrong person and that's why God said we should wait until marriage, because through marriage we are one and we can connect our souls through intimacy.

But right now, it all seems like I didn't listen to her, like I spat her teachings right back in her face.

It all just happened.
I was coming out of the bubble bath that Lesego prepared for me. My mind wasn't worried about why the heck he moved my things here without my consent.
I went to one of his many rooms in my gown. As I was applying lotion on my legs, I could feel a heavy presence and I knew that it was him. He was right behind me, breathing in my ear. He kissed me from behind while slowly undressing me.
I tried to stop him, but I quickly gave in and it just happened.
I turn around to face him. I'm not regretting it this time. How come? I see my braid on his side. I don't know what came over this man. It was rough and painful this time. It wasn't like the first time, he was more gentle, but here he was rough.
It was almost like I was used to release whatever tension he had, whatever stress he had and whatever anger he had carried.
He was holding on to my braids for dear life and I just remember gripping his naked back for dear life too. That's how rough it was and that's how my braid ended up there.

Kgomotso: "Can we please not do this again until we're married."

I'm not asking him. I'm telling him.

Lesego: "Huh?"

I repeat my statement. This time, sounding more assertive.

Lesego: "Why?"

Kgomotso: "Because it's wrong, Lesego."

Lesego: "Then what will I do if the feeling comes again?"

Kgomotso: "Deal with it."

Lesego: "Kgomotso, you do understand that I'm a man right? I have needs, and I'm surely not going to pleasure myself when I know there's a woman in the house I can satisfy my needs with. I don't even believe in self-pleasure."

Kgomotso: "You're making it sound like I'm some sex object and I don't like that." I snap.

Silence.

What now? Is he going to roar at me again?

Lesego: "You know what, I can't do this." He says getting off the bed.

I watch him put his clothes on.

I'm not some service girl and I won't be degraded into one! He needs to realise that! If he wants to wife me, then he'll have to also respect my morals. But he can't, because he's already broken one, so what's stopping him from breaking the others?
Now the next stress is the fact that I'm living with this guy. Forcefully.
Is this really it?

Lesego: "I'll see you later." He says walking out.

Kgomotso: "Where are you going?" I shout.