LESEGO: HER TRAP

Chapter 20

YONELA

"Pray for your friend."
"Pray for your friend."
"Pray for your friend."

This voice keeps repeating in my head. The sudden urge to pray right at 3AM.
I jump straight from my bed and kneel down on the floor and close my eyes.

Yonela: "Lord, who do I pray for?"

"Kgomotso, pray for her."

Yonela: "Holy Spirit, please lead me in this prayer."

KGOMOTSO

I look at my right arm and my stomach as I stand in the mirror. I can still feel the pain.
I have to go to work. It's 5AM and I have to be there in two hours.
"It all started with a slap on the face."
The flashback to last night's moment replays in my head and I want it gone!
"It all started with a slap on the face."
"Mpama e botlhoko!"
I want to scream and let it out.
He said he would never do it again. He promised!
I watch the tears fall down my face as I silently cry.
He's not here. I heard the door close and the car engine revving in the distance indicating that he was leaving to who-knows-where. I don't want him near me. Not now, not ever.

I'll drown myself at work if I have to, just to get him out of my head.
Or better yet, after work I'm heading straight home.
That's where I want to be right now, away from the Kunupis and away from Lesego.

LESEGO

I fucked up.
I fucked up badly. This was not supposed to happen! The last thing I want is the one person I love most to leave me. I thought it was just going to stop but something just came over me. If I tell the family, I'm screwed. Itumeleng would kill me.
He said that to me after we found out Matshidiso committed suicide. He threatened to kill me if he found out another woman in the house left or killed themselves because of my actions.
"Ke tla go bolaya with my bare hands, Lesego!" He told me one day. That day I was scared for my life.

I'm sitting here in my office because I know the last person Kgomotso wants to see is me.
Not even the Gordon's can help.

I rub my hands together as I face down in shame. I've done it this time.
Those thoughts and flashbacks come again.

"Lesego, I'm sorry!"
"Lesego!"

I can hear her voice fading in.

"Lesego, this is your child, please. We can't abort the baby, kea go rapela."
"Lesego I'm sorry!"

AAAHHHH!!!!

I can't escape them!
I can't escape her!
I smash my whisky glass on the table.
I'm frustrated and I feel as if I'm about to go mad!
I bang the table three times before shoving these papers from the table.

"We can't abort the baby, kea go rapela."

She was begging and crying for this abortion not happen and I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready. Not with the way I was.

Itumeleng and I found her body hanging by the tree of my old house and that's when I knew, I fucked up.

I brought out the worst in her.

At first she was a pretty girl I saw at the rank where I was washing my brother's taxi. I knew with the way I was, I had no chance with her, but I still worked my charm and she said yes. We slept together that day. I was 18. I thought she would be just another girl I slept with, but I suddenly fell for this girl and wanted to make her mine. Despite her mother disapproving, she still went ahead and chose me. I was just a boy who didn't know much, lived with my brother and his wife along with my younger brother and didn't go to school after Grade 3.
As we grew, so did my love for Matshidiso. I wanted to marry her. I was 21, but I wanted to marry her still. She was like an angel that had fallen from heaven and didn't care about where I came from and loved me and brought the light when my world was dark. That's why I will never forget her.