LESEGO: HER TRAP

Chapter 18

LESEGO

"She hasn't been taking my calls."

Lesego: "You suspect there could be someone?" He looks at me.

"I'm not insecure like you, man." He says before taking a sip of Gordon's.

I find myself settled down on the bar stool with my elbows on the counter. It's just the two of us in the kitchen and I left Kgomotso in our room crying. I wasn't supposed to do it and I don't know what came over me.

Lesego: "Pour me some." I say handing the whisky glass to him.

"Bad night?" I'm not gonna tell him.

Lesego: "Something like that." He scoffs before pouring me. "All the way to the top."

Itumeleng: "Your problems can't be that bad."

Lesego: "If only you knew, Boetie."

Sigh.
I've messed up. Badly.

KGOMOTSO

My mother always told me that one day my smart mouth would get me into trouble. Well for the most part, it did.
I still remember 10 years ago when I stood up for Busi against that teacher.
What's her name again?
Oh, Ms Singh.
It got me sent to the principal's office alone but thank God He didn't let me get in trouble because I was save by an announcement over the intercom.

My tongue can get so loose sometimes and I end up just speaking with so much emotion that I don't even care about the consequences. I used to get away with it with Simphiwe, a lot.
During the last days of our relationship, there would be many days we'd be in pointless arguments, all because of the slip of my tongue and my high emotions. Though I knew it would piss him off, but I used to get away with it a lot. But never did I think I'd get slapped for seeking an explanation from a man. The same man who claims to be my husband even though we're not married.

Sigh.

The 5-finger print is still on my face. This foundation should do the trick. I don't want anyone to see it.

"Come let me help you." He says getting closer to me.

I push Lesego away and say nothing.

Lesego: "I'm sorry for what happened last night, babe. I don't know what came over me and what I did was wrong."

Silence.

Lesego: "I promise I'll never do it again. This was just a mistake that I never want to do again."

I look at him through the mirror and see the remorse on his face.
Why is it so easy to forgive him?
I know cases like these. I've seen them on TV a lot, but I never thought it would one day happen to me.

Lesego: "Ke kopa maitshwarelo lerato lame."

He walks away and I'm left looking at myself in the mirror, thinking about his remorseful apology.

Why do I still love him?

FELICIA

It's how she knew but still chose to say nothing after all these years. She could have stopped it all from the minute she saw Itumeleng drop me off here for the first time back 1999 with that Toyota Hilux. She walked in the gate and saw me seated on the front seat with him. I entered the kitchen and she asked me who I was with. The minute I said his name - gosh I still remember her face - she was mad, she kicked me out.
No, I didn't move.
I got kicked out by my own mother and lived in a flat in Hartswater with my old friends Lele and Boikanyo, until they kicked me out and even ended their association with me once they got fed up with seeing Itumeleng day in and day out.
I have no friends because of this man.
While other 20-year-olds were partying, going to street bashes, drinking and living their young lives, I was staying with my boyfriend's family home in a farm - a land that's supposed to be mine and tamed a crazy man who wouldn't speak much.
I had to deal with dead bodies. I had to deal with a broken family. Heck, it's still broken but Kaone, Khumbuzile and I made sure they weren't at least they're not entirely broken.
We spent our lives trying to fix our husbands and showing them their past did not define them. That their parents' situation should not define who they are. We spent our lives trying to improve them while also covering for the bullshit they did.
Sometimes Khumbuzile, Kaone and I had to bury and burn the people they killed. We had to cover up everything they did. Give a convincing cover story to not make anyone suspicious.