Canvas & Crumbs

XXI

Veils of Denial

The park's tranquil atmosphere contrasts sharply with the emotions swirling inside me. Rogue and I are sitting on a bench, the setting sun casting long shadows as I try to find the words to explain the chaos I'm feeling. The sight of North with Caroline has left me more distressed than anticipated.

Rogue looks at me with a mixture of concern and confusion as I struggle to hold back my tears. "Aurelia, you look really upset. What happened? You can tell me."

I take a deep breath, trying to steady my voice. "It's just. . . everything is falling apart. I saw North with Caroline again, and it hurt so much. But there's more. I haven't told anyone this yet, but. . . I'm pregnant. It's North's baby."

Rogue's eyes widen in shock. "You're pregnant? And it's North's? Why haven't you told him?"

The question hangs in the air, and I feel a fresh wave of tears as I try to explain. "I don't want to tell him, and I thought it would be easier if I just dealt with it on my own. I don't want him to be involved."

Rogue's confusion deepens. "Why not? It's his child too. He has a right to know and to be a part of the baby's life. Keeping this from him isn't fair. You are taking your child's freedom to meet his or her biological father."

I wipe my tears away, shaking my head firmly. "I've thought about it a lot. I know it sounds harsh, but I don't want him in the picture. I've already been through so much with him, and I'm afraid that involving him now will just complicate things more. I need to protect myself and the baby."

Rogue's expression is one of frustration mixed with concern. "Aurelia, you're making a decision that affects both you and the baby. North might want to be involved, and it's not just about what's easier for you. It's about giving him the chance to be a father. This is not just about the both of you, you must also consider your child."

I stand up from the bench, feeling a surge of determination. "I understand what you're saying, but I've made up my mind. I'm not ready to let him back into my life, and I don't want him to be part of this. I've already been through enough pain with him. You cannot force me to do the opposite, Rogue."

Rogue stands up as well, looking at me with a mix of sympathy and frustration. "It's not just about you, Aurelia. The baby deserves to have both parents involved, even if it's difficult. You're making a choice that could affect the baby's future. You are being selfish."

I look at Rogue, feeling a deep sense of conviction in my decision. "I appreciate your concern, but this is my choice. I need to do what I believe is best for both me and the baby, even if it's hard. I've been hurt too much already, and I need to protect us from more pain."