"The eyes that have seen blood and death cannot see the world in the usual manner. But let's try our best to get through this together"
They were childhood friends. He was resolved to protect her till the end. He has vowed to never get married. But...
While I walked towards the only place that calms me down, I replayed what you said earlier over a thousand times in my mind. I still couldn't believe it.
I have always been drawn to you, since we were kids.
But with my past & my life occupation, I did not want to get you to the point where you'll be in trouble because of me.
That would be the last thing I'd ever want to happen to you.
Even if it means my death, I want to protect you. I want you to be safe & happy, feeling the warmth that you so easily give to others.
I always imagined you to have your own family, with your husband and kids.
Your husband, someone who's a kind and noble gentleman who treats you with utmost love.
But when the 3rd Ninja war happened, your father was killed, I witnessed you getting into trauma.
I knew you needed someone who stayed by you.
However much I wanted to be by your side for the rest of my life, I couldn't dare to ask you to marry me as I didn't want to risk your life considering the threats I possess being a ninja.
Hence I didn't disclose my feelings but made myself always available to you, to make sure you understand you still have someone whom you can reach out to, to talk your heart out.
I wanted you to know that there is someone still alive who cares for you.
Even if it may just seem like a friend, but that person is genuinely concerned about you.
In the initial days, I ensured I was always within your eyesight, so that you knew you had me as a friend with whom you can talk.
I wanted you to talk more than anything. Because until you talk, you cannot let go of your feelings.
If you just hold on to your feelings you'd eventually feel like giving everything up.
Just like Jiraiya sama once told me, people need to talk their feelings out as it is a way to connect with each other & let yourself feel more humane.
So I made sure I was there within your eyesight.
To be honest, I was extremely scared. You looked totally devastated, and numb.
You were not crying, not talking, you didn't walk around much. You always sat before a lake on the grass and then there were tears flowing from your eyes, but your face didn't show any expression.
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I was scared that you might again have some terrible thoughts of killing yourself, because I know that's how a person looks like when thinking about it.
I know it because I once saw that look on my father.
For a brief period of my life, after my Dad's death, I too looked the same way as you looked.
