"The eyes that have seen blood and death cannot see the world in the usual manner. But let's try our best to get through this together"
They were childhood friends. He was resolved to protect her till the end. He has vowed to never get married. But...
It's been a week since Haruka and I started sleeping together on the same bed. These past seven days, I didn't have a single nightmare nor felt any other stress. I slept sound, peacefully, feeling the warmth coming from her sleeping by my side.
We talked till late in the night and she fell asleep first on all these nights. I stayed awake for some more time to glance at her sleeping form. Her face, small nose, slightly parted lips and her cheeks pressed on the sheets, her hair falling over her eyes, I could just stare at her for however much long. I love the way she twitches her eyes a little whenever I took few strands of her hair off her face.
She always slept by turning to my side giving me more leverage to look at her while she sleeps.
She in a way made me feel that she is here with me, even when she's asleep
She kept herself very attentive to my presence. I wake up when the dawn breaks in. She woke up whenever I got up from the bed. I had to usher her to go back to sleep by saying that I'll go and train. She would also observe me silently, taking in my details, which I felt extremely cute. She tried to capture all my habits and quirks, both good and bad, yet she remained affectionate towards me.
Like the last few nights, yesterday night too we spoke for a long time and she fell fast asleep first. I too fell asleep after a while.
Today morning when I woke up, the sight I've been greeted with felt divine. The feeling it gave grew it's essence on my whole being
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She's laying by my side, holding my hand in both of hers, her face merely away from our connected hands. I could feel her warm breath fanning on my hand. I could feel the crazy way my heart started to beat.
She's lying next to me. And I'm half asleep, wondering what I did to deserve this moment - to deserve her. I once thought that I would be living alone, without anybody to love or claim as my own. But she entered my life, like an unexpected joy, rekindling all the feelings I buried deep within, making me feel more compassionate every day. From once wanting to die, to now hoping to live a long life with her, she has changed the course of my life. And while she's here, breathing easily, all I can think about is what I can do today to be better for her than I was yesterday.
I could stay awake just to hear her breathing, watch her smile while she's sleeping, while she's far away dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender and stay lost in this moment forever.
Haruka!
Watching you sleep by my side, my mind is set adrift on a different sea. Guilt. Fear. Love. Desire. All the war within me pulling me to one truth. My lonesome heart and broken soul belongs to you.
In my mind, in this house of memories and in my dreams, I sleep with you, making love to you every night. But today, the intimacy of this moment is much more than what I've felt in any of my dreams.
