KEEFER Of The Lost Cities

Episode One of Staying Up Late to Rant in the Darkness

A/N You don't have to read all of this. If you get bored, just skip it. It's just my random thoughts about Sokeefe at midnight because I can't sleep. If you're imagining me sitting in the dark and writing this while the only light is coming from my computer and the only sound is my keyboard clicking as I type, you have a very accurate imagination. I italicized the lines I'm proud of or want you to read, btw, so you can just read those if you want.

So I started writing my next chapter. At 10 pm. But then I couldn't focus and decided to go to bed. And then I couldn't sleep, because I kept thinking about Sokeefe. So then I got a revelation and started typing it at the end of my next chapter, but then I realized I'd have to finish writing the chapter before I could finish sharing my thoughts, and I wanted to share them immediately. And also that it was getting a little long for a signing off, so I decided to make it its own authors note. And now it's 11:14 pm and my computer is at 7% but my charger is downstairs and my stairs creak.

Here's the thing. I started writing this almost FOUR YEARS ago. (Yeah, I know. 38 chapters in four years isn't very productive, but I basically only EVER work on this is during summer break, so that's like 8 months, which is like 4.75 chapters per month, which means a bit more than a chapter a week, so... yay, math!)

Five years ago, I reread the series for the second time. The first of many rereads. I first read the series 6-ish years ago. (WOAH that's actually crazy). Here's a secret, though I'm not sure if I ever said this in an author's note before and everyone knows already: I shipped Sofitz those first 1.5 years.

Yes. I'm sorry. I'm ashamed at myself. 

It's not because I disliked Keefe- he was my favorite character. It's just that I might have been the same amount of oblvious-ness as Sophie, because I didn't even REALIZE Keefe liked her until I read his Nightfall short story. I never even CONSIDERED that he could be a love interest. And then the fog cleared after I reread it that first time five years ago. 

I usually say it's that short story that changed my mind, but my brain had slowly been building up to that revelation for much longer before that, ever since I read it the second time, which is why I accepted it and switched sides so quickly. I still remember the exact moment.

ANYWAY, I got super sidetracked. My point is, writing this keeps bringing me back in touch with this book series, even when I become obsessed with new series like OUABH or Six of Crows/ King of Scars. Writing these past few chapters has made me need to reread the first books again and it's made me realize something.

(Copy and paste from my a/n for next chapter)

It's reminded me why I ship Sokeefe so much. Like, I felt so strongly about it, and all the fanfics I read made it seem like some prophesized, fated thing. Even the later books in the actual series are so focused on Keefe and Sophie- to the point that it's (controversial opinion) pushing aside the other characters a bit. That makes it seem like there's no other outcome than Sokeefe, since it's so focused on them and their relationship, even while she was with Fitz. That made it kinda obvious they were going to get together, and I shipped it because, well, they were perfect, and Shannon Messenger kept dropping hints.

But at the beginning of the series, there's no destined outcome. There's just a bunch of confused teenagers that don't know what to do with their feelings. It reminded me that Sophie and Keefe are not together because of fate or any other deep thing like that. They're just two kids who found each other, and I liked that, at the start. That's why I started shipping them. Neither of them knew what they were doing, and despite their differences, they felt more comfortable with each other.

I like how at the beginning, Keefe is just some friend to her, who doesn't really mean much, but is always there when someone needs a laugh. And rather than letting him continue that way, Shannon Messenger builds a more complex web of his personality that deepens the more Sophie gets to know him. He's not perfect (though neither is Fitz), but rather than looking around that and only focusing on the good parts (like she does with Fitz), she helps him get through it even if it's tough for both of them, because relationships are hard and ignoring problems is never the answer.

(End copy/paste)

It's weird to think that someone who was just there for laughs became something so meaningful in Sophie's life. And that she was able to look beyond her own brain and follow her heart and understand that her partner doesn't have to be perfect, just someone there for her all the time, even when she doesn't know it. 

Someone who doesn't care about what others think, but about what SHE feels.

And Keefe is that person for her. I feel like that idea kind of gets diluted (ugh AP Chemistry, what did you do to me?) later, since it becomes so much about dealing with new problems that they just kinda forget who they are. Normal-ish teenagers who are allowed to have feelings. Just like Edaline said.

Later, Keefe isn't really... Keefe, and yet he's more Keefe than ever. It's a little strange. 

Sometimes, I get so used to Sophie trusting Keefe fully, I forget what a fun adventure it was to follow her path as she learns to trust him in the first place, while he... 

Well, he always trusted her. And I love that writing this has opened that perspective up for me even more than reading the actual book in his POV because I have to put myself in his shoes.

And wow, it must have been PAINFUL to see the literal love of your life get together with your perfect best friend.

Oh, that reminds me- I should write the scene when Sophie tells Keefe she broke up with Fitz because that'll be soo funny- he was probably like, "I should be sorry, but why is the only thing I feel joy?" and then feels guilty for feeling joy and upset that Sophie is so upset, yet hopeful beause he has a chance. And what are the chances that she broke up with Fitz because of him? But no. He could feel her emotions, and none of them said she felt anything right now other than devastated. Yet, he knew that Sophie felt something for him- in her heart. She didn't know it. But he did. And...

OH MY GOD- I just started writing the chapter without even realizing. What in the entire world?

That's actually crazy. Maybe I should copy and paste that when I actually write it. No- I'll give you guys new material. This is just an accidental preview into my brain and that chapter.

~Zara 

Love y'all ❤️😉🤠(Wow, I'm really getting into this "y'all" thing)

Oh and now it's 12:24 am and my computer ran out of battery halfway through, so I had to literally tiptoe downstairs and get my charger, and if anyone woke up, I was gonna say I was getting a glass of water and saw my charge so decided to bring it back to my room. I even for an actual glass of water, but no one woke up.

Now it's 12:36, and I'm actually done. Unless my brain comes up with anything else, in which case I'll share it and stay up even longer. There is no way staring at this bright screen in the dark is good for my eyes, btw.

Ok, actually bye now.

It is 12:37 am. This is your host Zara, and I hope you enjoyed episode one of Staying Up Late to Rant in the Darkness. I'll see you next time I get a crazy idea when I can't sleep.

Ok, who thinks I should rename this chapter to "Episode One of Staying Up Late to Rant in the Darkness"?

And now it's 12:43 am because I just had to search up podcast outros.

And this time I'm saying bye and absolutely nothing after it. I'm going to sleep, people. Hopefully.

Oh now it's 12:51 because I realized I forgot to italicize some lines.

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm publishing it RIGHT NOW and NO EXTRA THOUGHTS will stop me.