𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐀'𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄
- 𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓹 |closed|
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•: Title - 4/5 I kinda liked it. I don't know what drew me to it, but it was nice. It was out-of-the-ordinary kind of a title. Nice!
•: Blurb - 3/5 The blurb was decent. It was pretty good, indeed. I liked how it summarised what you were trying to impy through your plot and Jungkook's possessiveness. But there was a slight typo - closer, not closure. Just keep that in mind. Also, capitalisation of alphabets is rather, inconsistent. If you're maintaining an all lowercase text, make sure everything is lowercase. Otherwise, please stick to the original writing format. This sort of ruins the whole experience for me.
•: First Impression - 6/10 It was decent. But it could've been better. To be honest, the lack of punctuation on dialogues did get to me, but you can edit it. That's fine. And the first chapter didn't really have anything that helped me memorise Lisa or Y/N. Y/N is basically the reader, so I'll not force that on. But Lisa did need to have something other than just her name mentioned. I hope you understood what I meant. Neither did the second chapter with all the BTS members - had I not known them before, I'd probably have a much tougher time memorizing what each person is like.
•: Grammar - 6/10 Needs work, but it's not a grave situation, so it's fine. I think I've mentioned all the pointers before as well... It's the same this time around too.
•: Plot - 6.5/10 It started off nice, though there were slight issues with execution here and there. The diary part and such events were funny.
•: Characters - 5.5/10 Character introduction is fast, but you're not giving the readers time to warm up to the characters and get used to them. • The second chapter itself had 7 new characters and none of them had any other characteristics mentioned except Suga - you've mentioned he's a 'sleeping beauty'. So, I'd like you to work on this, because your writing is getting better, and your execution is good. • Y/N and many characters lack a good introspection. There's not much delving into emotions, which makes them seem shallow. Please consider that too.
•: Dialogue Delivery - 6.5/10 Dialogues made sense, there were not many errors, and each person had their own style of speaking. Though, most dialogues were simply either smirking or the person swearing, which made it seem one dimensional.
•: Flow - 3.5/5 The flow was alright I'd say, except for the pictures of rooms and Jungkook added in the middle in one of the chapters... Add them towards the end, or as a small banner or sorts. But I personally like stimulating my imagination, while reading - not having it given to me on a silver platter. So that's a personal thing, and need not be considered for all cases.
•: Final Impressions - 5/5 Contrary to all the drawbacks I'd mentioned about execution and characters, I loved giving it a chill read. It was a sort of change from the usual fantasy/thriller I usually read. This was fun, and carefree.
Total - 46/70
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