𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐀'𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄
- 𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓮𝔀 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓹 |closed|
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•: Title - 5/5 Sounds promising, you know. Even though the genre is evident, it's quite unique and titles that pull at something tragic always appeals to me. So, good job!
•: Blurb - 3.5/5 Fantastic blurb. It had just enough content to reel me in and just enough to make me curious about what will happen. The only thing that bothered me were the minimal punctuation errors here and there. And, if you could make the blurb a tad bit more concise, it would fare much better.
•: First Impression - 8/10 Right off the bat, a good first impression. The cover could use some work (it feels like it could dampen what you have to offer), but that's completely upon you to keep or change. The first chapter was pretty interesting, the agony was evident and I loved the read.
•: Grammar - 9.5/10 Well-edited. I needn't say much here. You know it's good.
•: Plot - 8/10 The plot is great. Though initially, it did confuse me as to why Jungkook kept saying 'I won't be able to have dumplings next year'. The pain had been portrayed great, the agony has been executed flawlessly. I enjoyed reading it, to be completely honest.
•: Characters - 7.5/10 The only thing I wanted to mention is what I've commented as well - the inclusion of physical traits. While I realise that most ARMYs know what each of them looks like, excluding their physical traits kind of seems like a hole in the execution. There are places where you've mentioned how gaunt and thin Jungkook has become, but don't stop there. Do add how his "some-colored eyes lost their charm" or something of that sort that makes the character stand out.
•: Dialogue Delivery - 8.5/10 There were a few places where the flow seemed like it had been cut short. Most dialogues had that humanising-factor and addition of speaker tags, which was good. But there are a few things I'd like you to consider. • The hostility in Taehyung and his concern the next night was rather abrupt, but the effect was minimal in the choice of words for his dialogues. Things like this is rarely ever noticeable, but I think, while I was reading the chapters, I felt like something seemed off. Hence, this comment.
•: Flow - 4.5/5 It's slow and well done. This is exactly what the plot required.
•: Final Impressions - 4.5/5 Loved the book, really. It could use one last round of revision/editing for the few punctuations missing and things like that, but overall, great read!
Total - 59/70
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