Polarize- a joshler fanfic

Forgive me

Josh p.o.v
I opened my eyes. I was in a room. My face hurt. My whole body hurt. What did I drink last night. What even happened. I heard a movement on the bed.
"Tyler?" I looked to the side. I saw brown hair.
"Tyler?"
"No." If if it wasn't Tyler. Who the fuck was it? He turned around. I had no idea who it was. I looked down at myself. I was naked. In bed. With a different man. Oh god. What did it do. I started to hyperventilate.
"Did.... We?" My breathing got heavier.
"Yes we did." He said as he grabbed me but I smacked his hand off and got up. "Who the fuck are you." He raised an eyebrow at me.
"I told you I wasn't gonna tell you my name but you kept calling me Tyler." Tears started to stream out of my face. I was starting to remember. Tyler saw. Tyler knows. I cheated. I ruined our relationship. He hates me now.
I put on my cloths and walked out of the room. I needed to find Tyler. I could not stop crying.
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Tyler p.o.v.
Brendon was gone. I cheated on Josh last night. But that is only because he cheated on me first. Should I feel bad? Even though he did it first I still felt awful. Did this mean that we weren't together anymore? I didn't want to talk to Josh at all. I don't think I will ever want to.
"Tyler?" I heard Josh's voice through the door. He opened it.
"Get the fuck away from me. I never want to talk to you again. You said you loved me. You mother fucker."
I was in tears now and so was Josh. He kept trying to grab me but I just pulled away.
"Tyler you don't understand. I really didn't know. I don't how or why I did that. I don't even know the person. You are who I love Tyler. I'm so sorry."
He was crying even more.
I looked at him and held his hand.
"Don't ever talk to me again." I said coldly. He ran out the door, crying. I sat down in the bed, crying myself. I heard a knock at the door.
"Hey it's Debs."
"Go away!"
"But I brought you Advil."
She walked in with some water and Advil. Thank god. I grabbed it from her and took it quickly.
"Thank you." I said and she wiped off my tear.
"What happened?"
I explained to her what happened and she jumped up dragging me into the kitchen.
"I gave Josh a drink last night. Someone was putting pills inside the the drinks. It has a lot of side affects." She told me but I still didn't care. He cheated on me and that was that.
"No Tyler you don't understand. It was crazy side affects. Like its a crazy drug. I warned him and he took it anyways." She found the box that the pills came in and started reading the side affects out loud.
"Side affects include:
Dizziness
Confusion
Nausea
Blurry vision
Hallucinations
And also may include memory loss for a few hours."
I looked at her. Did that mean he thought that the man was me?
"Tyler I think Josh had the memory loss affect. Maybe he thought the guy was you." I started to cry. Oh god now I felt really bad. I grabbed my phone and saw twenty seven messages.
"Tyler?"
"Please. I know I fucked up."
"I shouldn't have taken that drug"
"I love you."
"Im so so sorry"
" I really thought it was you."
"I didn't know"
"I shouldn't have excuses. I fucked up."
"I love you so much."
"I can't believe I'm such a fuck up."
"You deserve so much more than me anyways."
"Tyler I'm really sorry."
"I love you with all my heart."
More messages like that and at the end there was one more message.
"I will miss you. I should have done this along time ago to avoid hurting you. I'm a fuck up. I'm sorry. I love you. Please don't forget about me"
I started to cry. And started to text back
"Josh?" No reply..... The last text he sent sounded fishy.
"Debby." i said. My breathing stopped. He was going to try and kill himself. Because of me.
"What?"
"Josh is gonna kill himself." I grabbed Debby's keys and threw them to her. Tears were rolling down my cheeks
"Please drive me to joshs and hurry." She drove super fast. Going through red lights, avoiding stop signs. We got to Josh's house and I ran up the stairs, still tears going down my face. I kicked the bathroom door down to reveal Josh shoving pills in his mouth.
"Josh!" I screamed as I stuck my finger in his moth and made them slowly fall out of his mouth. He hadn't swallowed any yet. I came just in time. Debby was standing in the doorway. I stepped on all the pills, crushing them. "What the fuck were you thinking?" I said as I cried into Josh's shoulder.
"Tyler I can't live without you." He said crying.
"I'm so so sorry." He said. I turned my head towards Debby, motioning her to leave so she did. I grabbed Josh and put him in his bed. I kissed his cheek.
"I'm so sorry. I really thought it was you. I love you and I would ver purposely hurt you" He cried. I laid next to him crying in his arms.
"Josh I fucked up too."
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