A Smile That Hides Pain (Karina x Male Reader)

Nightmares

Everyone was in there room, asleep. Most of them were probably having nice dreams about ice cream or boobs or something. But not Y/N. He was having a certain nightmare. A nightmare he found himself having almost every night since he was found on the island and taken back home.

Last year, Y/N, Jeon, and Jin were robbing a ferry in Blackwater. The rest of the gang were off getting the money, which was taking a hell of a long time, considering the payout for this gig. Y/N had just been shot in the shoulder by a guard and the guard wasted no time closing the distance. He stopped right in front of Y/N, but before he could pull the trigger, a bullet entered his skull. "You gotta be more careful, brother." Jeon said as he helped Y/N up. "Arthur and Hosea picked a helluva time to take a rain-check." Y/N said. Suddenly they heard the sound of Jin's revolvers shooting multiple rounds in a row. Y/N and Jeon quickly ran to him, the 3 of them taking down all of the guards surrounding them. 

Y/n turned to them, a smile on his face due to the adrenaline. But when he looked at Jeon, his face was unusually pale and his face was covered in bruises. "Jeon??!" Y/N said. He reached his hand out, but in an instant, Jeon's bodied disappeared and was replaced with a grave. Flowers surrounded it and an eagle was resting upon it.

Kim Min-Jeon
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

Suddenly, Y/N saw Rose standing in front of Y/n's grave, bawling her eyes out. Even out of the dream, it hurt Y/N to tell her that Jeon was dead, knowing full well that Jeon was alive when they spoke a few days ago. He couldn't imagine how hurt she was, how much she must've beat herself up over it. The last time they spoke, Jeon proposed, but she wasn't ready and ran away from him. Then, their boat sunk and he, along with Y/n and Jin were all presumed dead. And now, she had "confirmation" that he was dead. The closure was definitely more hurtful than beneficial because now she couldn't tell herself maybe he's out there. Maybe he'll come back to me. Maybe we can still be together.

She stopped looking at his grave and turned to face Y/n, her eyes having dried up mascara going down both her cheeks from the tears.

"You left him to die." She said. "I... I had no choice. Micah was always in Dutch's ear an-and Dutch shot that girl in cold blood and..." He stopped when Rose walked over to him, her face inches away from his.

"You left them all to die." She said. Suddenly she vanished and Y/n looked around and saw the graves of everyone. Dutch's grave, Arthur's grave, John's grave, even little Jack. Every member of the gang and all of them had the same words inscribed.

Left to die by Kang Y/N

"AH!" Y/N said as he suddenly woke up, nearly leaping out of bed. "Same nightmare as always." He whispered to himself. It was a miracle no one else woke up from his shriek. The boys all slept in one room, yet they all stayed fast asleep. 

Y/N grabbed his phone and checked the time. 7:30 AM. "May as well get up. Doubt I'll be able to get back to sleep." Y/N said as he got out of bed and went to the kitchen. When he stepped out of the room, he saw a dim light on in the living room.

"Can't sleep either?" He spoke as he groggily stepped into the living room. "No, not really. What's up with you?" Karina asked from the couch. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I would've asked if you were dreaming about Yuqi, but I heard you scream. Nightmares about the island?" She spoke. In truth, the island was the last thing the nightmares was about. But, if he told her the real reason, that'd mean telling her that he'd abandoned Jin and Jeon and a conversation like that wouldn't end very well, especially when Jin's sister, Eunchae, was sleeping a few rooms over. 

"... Yeah." He said as he walked over to the couch and sat down. "Do you ever wonder what life would've been like if me, Jin and Jeon hadn't gotten on that boat?" Y/n spoke.

"All the time. I especially find myself worrying about Rose, sometimes even more than Eunchae. Last time she saw Jeon, she said she didn't want to marry him. Then he died, and she was never quite the same. I don't think I've seen her smile since it happened." She said. "She asked me when they found me. She asked if he still loved her. If he was mad at her for what she said. I told her that despite how things ended last time they spoke, he still loved her. All he ever talked about was getting back to her... then..." Y/n stopped as a tear went down his cheek. 

"Past is the past, I guess. Can't really do nothing about it." He said as he wiped it away. "But sometimes I wonder: Why? Why did I have to live. Why couldn't they live too? Why did they have to die, for me to live? Couldn't I have died for them?" He spoke as another tear escaped his eyelid. He looked over at Karina and saw she had moved closer to him. "Are you okay?" She said as she held his hand. "... No, not really." He said as she pulled him into a hug. "It's okay." She said as Y/n started to let it all out.

For a while, they sat there, giving each other the comfort they'd never been given since the accident. Despite Y/n's sobs, the room was silent enough to hear a pin drop. An hour went by, though for the two of them, it felt like mere moments.

"Thanks, I... I didn't know how much I needed that." Y/n said as he pulled away from the hug. "You don't need to thank me."

"I'm getting a little hungry. Do you want anything?" Karina spoke. "Yeah, I'll eat anything. Just need to take my mind off of this."