Shadows Of Stardom

Chapter 4

My heart dropped like a rock into water. The thought of being so close to him was like a weird mix of a dream and a total nightmare. What if I completely embarrassed myself? A wave of anxiety hit me, swirling around like a storm, and I tried really hard to stay calm

“I didn’t ask for company,” I shot back, trying to sound tough, knowing he wouldn’t care about my attitude because he was used to it. My heart raced at the idea of getting out of there. I stood up, feeling super nervous, making up my mind to head towards the exit.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” he replied

But just when I was about to leave, Kai grabbed my arm.

I didn’t have the guts to face him, so I stood there frozen while he held onto me. 

“Not so fast! You’re not getting away from me again!” I could tell that even though he was acting cool, he was still a little hurt by how I had been distant since he got back.

As he got closer to me, I caught that familiar smell of his cologne. It’s this cool mix of vanilla, musk, and something earthy, with a hint of fruity notes. I realized there was no way to escape him today, so I took a deep breath and prepared myself for whatever he was going to ask.

“Come on! What’s up with you, Jennie?” he asked, and I had no option but to look him in the eye. When I did, I saw a worried look on his face, reminding me that he came back only to find me still stuck in this awkward place where I couldn’t be real with him.

“I’m fine! I just… need some air! Alone!! ” Finally, I broke free from his grip and ran over to the bench, needing a moment to breathe.
As I sat there, I could feel my heart pounding like crazy. I buried my face in my hands, trying to block out everything around me. It was like a million thoughts were racing in my head, and I just wanted to shut them up. What do I do now

“Why are you here?” I blurted out, feeling curious about why he was in this restaurant. It wasn’t exactly a typical hangout, especially for him.

“I’m just passing through, so I thought I’d grab lunch with Yoongi and few of our friends” he replied casually.
I stood there with my heart racing, feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. He just looked at me, those deep eyes locked onto mine, but I couldn’t bring myself to look back. It felt like all those times I missed him surged back like a wave crashing over me.

"And you?" he asked, his voice soft yet curious. I could tell he really wanted to know, but I was being stubborn. Why did I have to be like this?

"I came with the girls for dinner," I finally replied, trying to sound casual. The truth? I was trying to pretend like I wasn’t completely affected by him being here.

"Did I do something to make you upset?" he asked, sounding a little hurt. I could see that he genuinely wanted to understand why I was acting all weird since he got back.

No, you haven’t done anything! Its because you are this perfect gentleman!

Then he said something that really got to me: "I missed you." That pulled at my heartstrings, and I couldn’t keep avoiding his gaze anymore. Slowly, I turned to meet his eyes.

As I sat there, I noticed how calm and collected he looked. I wished I could be as chill as he was. I wished I could shove my feelings aside and just act like we were friends, but my heart had other plans. It was like my feelings had a mind of their own, reminding me how I really felt about him.

“I just—” I started to say, trying to pull away from him. My mind was racing, and I really didn’t want him to see me like this—panicked and wide-eyed.