Shadows Of Stardom

Chapter 54

Sunlight, thick and golden, poured through the curtains, casting stripes across the chaotic scene that was my coffee table. It was littered with empty delivery boxes, fashion magazines opened to pages I hadn't even looked at, and the main attraction: a half-eaten tub of vanilla ice cream.

“Seriously, Jennie, don’t you ever get tired of that stuff?” San asked, his tone carrying the kind of annoyance that only an older brother could express. He was sprawled out on my oversized sofa, focused on his tablet, but I noticed him sneaking glances at the ice cream that was quickly disappearing.

I rolled my eyes playfully, not out of meanness. I scooped another generous spoonful from the tub and relished the sweet taste. My trainer would probably have a fit if she saw me indulging like this. My doctor would likely send me a stern letter. But today, I was bending the rules, all thanks to the little one inside me who was turning my body into a playground.

“It’s… just this once,” I mumbled with my mouth full.

These cravings were overwhelming, like a powerful wave crashing over my self-control.

He sighed, “Whatever. Just don’t come to me crying when you have a stomachache.” He returned to his tablet, swiping the screen. I could hear the soft sounds of whatever he was doing. Despite his dismissive tone, I noticed a hint of real concern in his eyes. He cared, in his own San-like way.

“Hey, I’m being super responsible. Plus, I never complain,” I shot back, a smile creeping onto my face. I placed a hand on my stomach, feeling a small flutter. It could have been the baby, or it could have been the gallon of ice cream settling there. Most likely the ice cream.

Suddenly, San closed his tablet, the screen going dark. He turned to me, his expression serious, the playful banter gone. The abrupt change made my heart race.

“About the pregnancy…” he began, his voice low and cautious.

“Yes…?” I stretched the word out, a knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. I knew what was coming. This conversation, or some version of it, had been on repeat for weeks.

“You know what you’re planning to do… it’s basically impossible,” he said, his gaze fixed on mine.

I caught my breath. He was right, of course. My plan was utterly insane—a wild, impulsive idea.

I intended to disappear. To escape the relentless media attention and find solace in the untouched beauty of New Zealand. I thought of a small, cozy cottage nestled in rolling green hills, far from flashing cameras and judgmental gazes. I wanted to give birth in peace and raise my child away from the toxic spotlight that accompanied my fame. Just a year or two.

It was crazy. Completely, utterly, undeniably crazy. My friends had told me so. My family had warned me. And San had been patiently, persistently trying to talk me out of it. However, the thought of giving up my child and sacrificing my own happiness for my career was simply not something I could consider.

"I understand," I whispered. "But I have to make an effort. It's my only choice. I can't... I won't abandon my baby." I turned to my laptop, which was streaming an episode of Blue Lock, the vibrant visuals and rapid action a desperate attempt to distract myself from the turmoil within.

A gentle bump against my leg caught my attention. Kai, my Cocker Spaniel, was looking up at me with his big, expressive eyes, his little tail wagging softly against the floor. He always sensed when I was feeling down.

I bent down to scratch him behind the floppy ears, finding some solace in his unwavering affection. "Hey, buddy," I whispered, "everything will be alright."