Shadows Of Stardom

Chapter 65

The air in Auckland was heavy with the smell of salt and pine, a scent that lingered on my skin like a distant memory. New Zealand, with its lush green hills and stunning coastline, had been a soothing escape for my weary mind, a refuge amidst the chaos.

I had created a delicate sense of peace here, living in the space between the city and nature. My days were filled with simple joys I had long overlooked: hiking through lush forests, the earthy smell of wet soil on my boots; strolling along windswept beaches, the cries of seagulls echoing in the vast sky. The ancient, steadfast mountains seemed to reflect the strength I was trying to nurture within myself.

Yet, even in this serene solitude, Taehyung lingered like a ghost at the periphery of my thoughts. The shape of a distant hill reminded me of his jawline, and the vibrant colors of the sunset mirrored the warmth of his smile. I was living in a world infused with his memory, and the persistent ache of his absence contrasted sharply with the beauty around me.

This self-imposed retreat was nearing its end. Tomorrow, I would board a flight back to Seoul, back to the whirlwind of flashing lights and unyielding scrutiny, back to the life I had so be string to continue.
And back to him.

The thought sent a shiver down my spine, a mix of excitement and fear. I longed for the feel of his arms around me, the reassuring presence he brought

I forced myself to concentrate on the present, on the warmth of the setting sun on my skin, the gentle sway of the palm trees above. Ross, my brother San's ever-watchful and slightly annoyed bodyguard, appeared at the edge of the pool, his brow furrowed with concern.

"Ma'am, are your bags packed?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that barely disrupted the evening's tranquility.

"Not yet," I replied, taking a slow sip of my cocktail. The sweet, tangy drink did little to ease the knot of anxiety in my stomach.

"But we're leaving early tomorrow morning," he complained, a playful hint of exasperation in his tone. I rolled my eyes, a familiar gesture between us.. Despite his large stature and serious demeanor, Ross had become an unexpected confidant during my time here, a reliable presence in a world that often felt chaotic. To me, he felt more like a older brother than just an employee, though he always respected his limits.

"Are you really that eager to go back?" I asked, tilting my head to gauge his reaction.

He shrugged, his eyes wandering toward the horizon. "Aren't you just as eager to return?" he shot back, echoing my words.

I gave him a playful glare, and he smiled back, unapologetic. He was right, of course. The truth was, I felt conflicted about going back. I missed my brothers, Lisa, Jisoo, and Rosé terribly, but the thought of confronting the reality ahead—the upcoming meeting with our CEO and the unavoidable public announcement—filled me with dread.

Rumors had been circulating for months about contract renewals without me, solo projects, and, most frighteningly, the possibility of disbandment. BLACKPINK had been my life for over a decade. The idea of it all ending, of the music fading away and the lights going out, created a heavy knot in my chest.

I pushed those thoughts aside, refusing to let them take over. Today, I wanted to enjoy the last moments of tranquility, the final remnants of my New Zealand retreat. I climbed out of the pool, wrapped a soft towel around my wet body, and settled into a nearby deck chair.

"Bring my snacks here," I told Ross, who nodded and headed toward the villa.

The air was cooling, and the vibrant sunset colors were slowly giving way to the deepening twilight. I reached for my phone, the smooth glass cool against my hand. The screen lit up, revealing a lock screen photo of my playful Cocker Spaniel, Kai, cuddling with Chanyeol. I missed them both, especially Kai, but I knew that he and Chanyeol had grown close during my time in the hospital after my kidnapping. It was sad to leave him, but not as heartbreaking as parting with both of them together.