Against the wild fire (Castillo series #3)

Chapter 17: Black

"Dani, please naman kumain ka na oh. Baka katawan mo naman iyong bumigay mag aalala si tita sayo." I heard Ria's voice beside me.

I couldn't even answer her nor look at her, para akong nauupos na kandilang nakatitig sa puting kabaong na nasa harapan namin. Pagod, puyat, uhaw.. manhid sa lahat.

She sighed and felt her stood up.

"I'm sorry, I think mas ikaw ang kailangan gumawa nito." she said again, I don't think she's still talking to me when she said that as she stood up and gave someone the food container.

Gutom? Ni hindi ako makaramdam ng kahit anong lakas para kumain. Para saan pa?

My vision starts to blur as I recollect the memories I had with her. Naninikip ang paghinga at pinipigilan ang paghikbi habang iniisip ang huling breakfast ko na kasama siya.

"Hey.." I heard that voice as I smell the familiar perfume beside me, I felt his hands wrap around my shoulders. Ni hindi ko magawang sumandal rito kahit hinila na niya ako palapit sa kanya.

"The last breakfast I had with her.. it was the first time in 3 years that she cooked for me.. again." I blurted out as I felt his gripped gets tighter around my shoulders.

I want her to cook food for me again, pero paano?

"Gusto ko lang matikman ulit ang luto ni mommy, pero paano?" saad ko sa maliit na tinig, na alam ko ako lang ang makakarinig.

But then Zandro knelt in front of me, he grabbed my hand and squeeze it gently as the other hand caress my face, tucking some hair that hides my face behind my right ear.

"I'm still here. I can cook for you if you want to." he said with the gentlest voice I ever heard from him. I shot back with a tired gaze. 

"Don't. You'll leave me soon anyway."

"Try me Dani."

Before I could answer him, I felt a warm hand wrapped against me behind my back. The sweet scent of her lingered on her hair that was laying on my shoulders.

"Darling.. I'm so sorry."

"Mom.. why are you here?" 

Tita Celestine sat beside me, I saw her eyes widened when his son was kneeling in front of me, holding my hands tightly, ni hindi man lang ito gumalaw sa posisyon niya kahit na nandito ang mama niya. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya kaya sinusubukan kong tanggalin ang kapit nito sa kamay ko but Zandro is too strong, ni hindi man lang ito gumalaw.

"Let me go Zandro, nandito ang mommy mo."

Umigting ang panga nito. "I won't leave you."

Pagod akong tumango at bumuntong hininga. "But stop kneeling in front of me."

"You'll push me away." 

I bit my lip. Yes, soon.. after this. Pero hindi ngayon. 

"I won't" not yet.

Tita Celestine then interfered. "I won't steal her from you Zandro but first, greet your Dad and brother, nasa labas pa sila at madaming kausap."

Tumango tango ako, "Sige na go Zandro." 

He looks torn as he stared at my hands with his. Pumikit ito ng mariin at tumango.

When he left, there was a huge silence between us. 

"You know Daniella..." napalingon ako nang magsalita ang ginang sa aking tabi. She was just staring in front, with unreadable expression, her pouty lips were pressed into thin line. 

"I don't even know what to say nor how to comfort someone in this situation. Siguro naiintindihan ko na kung bakit puro 'I'm so sorry for your loss' lang ang mga sinasabi ng mga taong nakikiramay. Clearly only you can help your self with the pain, not the words of others to even ease any amount of it." there was a faint smile in her eyes but her eyes was telling me the opposite.