Dielive [ENGLISH]

FOUR

I DON'T know how many times I've grumbled. Maybe I've also been obsessed with the call button on my cellphone screen. Minutes passed and I was still anxious because Jason hadn't answered my call at all.

Since our last video call, Jason hadn't called me at all. Even though I had to tell him about my deal with Phil. About my move to Florida. I wanted him to know first.

We've experienced everything in this life together. We've always shared. How could I miss telling Jason about this? He still hadn't answered my call.

I was also very annoyed with Dad. He must have been busy operating on a patient that he ignored his call. It wasn't something new to me so I could tolerate it even though it was a critical matter. However, Jason....

Was he angry? Why? It was strange if he got angry for no reason. During our friendship, he had only ever been angry with me once. That was when we were five years old.

At that time I snatched his Retty-Tetty gum. Without asking permission, I chewed it and he cried. I laughed and made fun of him for being a crybaby. And then he was mad at me for a week. But now we were almost seventeen. We still shared Retty-Tetty. So what was he mad at?

I gave up. I threw my phone in any direction and curled up in bed. I closed my eyes. The ceiling of the room seemed like it was going to collapse. The dust from the peeling paint made me claustrophobic. Finally I forced my brain and my still-sleepy eyes to wake up. It was still dark outside.

I really hoped to get back to Chicago soon. Life here was a nightmare. But thinking about my deal with Phil made me calm down a little. At least I could say goodbye to my friends and Dad in a special way. It was better than nothing.

I started to think far ahead. So after my little brother was born, Mom would take care of the two kids. I hope she wasn't kidding. Phil was tired enough to work and cook. If Mom couldn't do this one anymore, I would run away to Chicago.

It was morning before I was fully asleep. Mom told me to go downstairs, take a shower and have breakfast. After breakfast, Phil went to work. Mom washed the dishes, I watched TV, I tried to call Jason again, Mom yelled at me to heat up the beef stew for lunch until Phil came home and we had Phil's dinner. It went on like that for a week.

Honestly, my attitude towards Mom since the day I yelled at her, got colder. Mom also seemed still upset with me. So in this house I really felt like a stranger. Phil only spoke politely to me while Mom barely wanted to talk to me.

A week passed just like that. The trip home felt faster. Of course Dad didn't pick me up at the airport, so I took a taxi. After Dad came home from the hospital, he was shocked. I immediately bombarded him with scolding and sobs.

"Why did you do that to me, Dad? You already knew, but you didn't tell me!"

"I was planning to tell you after you got back from Florida, Nad."

"That's unforgivable!" I turned around, pouting and folding my arms across my chest.

"I'll buy you Retty-Tetty later?" Her voice changed to a soft, seductive voice.

"I'm not a little kid anymore, Dad!" But I still turned around and finally smiled. I hugged him tightly, then cried. "Really, Dad. I just don't want to leave you."

Dad was even worse. He sobbed and just kept quiet. I slowly let go of my hug. Dad was old. He didn't have a girlfriend. I couldn't imagine him having to live alone. Who would take care of him? Aunt May would also retire.

"I'm just worried about you, Dad. Who will give you deep dish pizza or Wolfy's?"

Dad smiled a little, he stroked my head. "When I get home from the hospital, I can stop by Wolfy's. You don't have to worry about me."

"Can we video call, Dad?" I asked.

"Okay, Honey. Dad will always be ready to answer your video call later."

"Okay." I agreed. At least that made me relieved. I wouldn't get tired of reminding him to eat and take a break from the scalpel and syringe.

"They gave you until when?"

"Until I'm seventeen, Dad. That's what they said."

"After your birthday do you have to leave?"

I nodded weakly. "I wanted to... have a birthday party with my friends, Dad," I said. "I wanted to say goodbye."

"Don't say that, Nad. You can still video call them."

I nodded again, but this time I was crying. "I hate Florida, I hate Mom," I mumbled and hugged Dad again.

So the rest of the day we spent together watching movies at home and eating spaghetti. Dad really made time for me in my last weeks in Chicago.

The week before my birthday, school was back in session. Dad took care of my transfer secretly did it. I wanted it so my friends wouldn't know. I planned to tell them at my birthday party. Including Jason.

Jason. He was standing across the room, putting some of his stuff in his locker.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

Jason flinched because I was standing next to him, but he just stayed silent. Worse, he left me.