Poolverine - They're so gay it hurts

Beginning of mission

The two men hurried and made themselves toasts and instant coffee. Of course, Logan opted for very strong black coffee. And Wade made himself a moka coffee. They got dressed hurriedly and heard a honk outside, telling them Peter has arrived.

They got out the apartment and got inside the car. Logan took the passenger seat, and Wade complained about being in the back alone.

...

A few minutes later they arrived at the police. Wade unlocked his phone and showed the picture to the officer. Logan just sat on the entry bench.

- Got any info about this van? My friend Peter right here took the pic and said it looked sus and that he heard some animal sounds from inside.

- Hmmm... let me search some stuff.

The officer scanned the pic from Wade's phone, then tapped something on the keyboard. Cue zooming in in the picture, tapping and clicking while looking for the criminal, with a lot of screens on display, like you see in movies.

- AI analysed and it says the license plate looks like the number is *license number*, says the officer. I found some criminal organisation that runs illegal and potentially dangerous experiments on dogs. The license plate corresponds to a van that was reported stolen yesterday. Their hideout is a little bit out of the city.

The officer writes the coordinates of the hideout, then explains:

- We usual cops can't go there and try to catch them anymore because there's too much traps protecting their area. The first team we sent all died. But you, Deadpool and Wolverine, have healing factors so you're perfect for this.

- Fine, we'll go to the garage to borrow a car. We'll tell them to go repair that trash ass Odyssey at the same time, said Logan.

And so Peter drove them to the garage, then left. They borrowed a car, signed papers and told them about the Odyssey and discussed the repairs and all.

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Wade's POV

I got on the driver's seat, and the first thing I did was connect my phone to the car speakers. What's a little drive without some music? We quickly picked up our suits at the apartment, then I entered the destination on the GPS.

I opened Spotify and put my playlist on shuffle. Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift came on as I started the car.

"FEVER DREAM HIGH IN THE QUIET OF THE NIGHT
YOU KNOW THAT I CAUGHT IT" I sang along.

- SHUT UP! yelled the man in the passenger seat. What's this shit?

- Don't insult Taylor Swift like that! I raged. Instead of always being a brooding little shit, why don't you just listen?

- By "this shit", I meant your HORRIBLE singing! You sound like a hamster that got his balls stuck under his spinning wheel! criticized Logan. But this isn't what I usually listen to anyway. Can I choose the music?

- Wow, first of all, oddly specific comparison. Second, ouch. You're so mean! And no. My driving, my rules.

- I'm not mean, I'm brutally honest, he said. And too bad, I'm just gonna sleep.

- Not on my watch, Wolvie. I'm trying to open your musical horizons.

- Bitch I'm 200 of course I know way much more music than you!

- Okay grandpa, I quipped.

I felt 3 claws scratching my face. It disturbed my already weak attention span and the car swayed.

- You're gonna make us have an accident, dumbass! I affirmed.

- And? We have a healing factor, remember?

- Yeah but the fucking car doesn't! I retorted. 

- I hate you, bub, he said.

- I love you too.

...