Poolverine - They're so gay it hurts

The hideout

"- We'll save your doggo, bub. said Logan. I believe in us.

Awwwww, so cute, Wade thought."

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- Us? And... what are we exactly? asked Wade.

Logan became red like a tomato.

- I- Uh... the... the best teamup ever??

- Yeah, but that's NOT what I meant... I meant in a more personal way.

- Hmmm... L-lovers?? You- you're my... boyfriend? I-

The Wolverine was still flustered, and if we were in a comic or anime, his eyes would have turned into hearts.

He's so damn cute when he's blushing, thought Wade.

- Yes, peanut. I agree. Though I've had a crush on you for god knows how long, honestly. But can y'all blame me? Hugh Jackman is the hottest man to have ever existed. Pretty sure he can even turn straight men gay, and lesbians straight for him lol.

Logan ignored the other's weird antics but said:

- Stop being weird and just kiss me, bub.

And so they kissed for a moment. Then they put their clothes on (Yes they were still naked lmao) and went back to the car. Their destination wasn't that far anymore, just a few minutes.

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When they arrived, they parked the car in a place where it wouldn't be visible, then changed into their suits. Of course Wade peeked to see Logan getting changed, cause he could never get enough of him.

It was a small ugly and dirty looking building. The ground around it looked tampered with, and there were some badly hidden traps and all. They stayed to a distance to observe what was going on.

A man got out of what looked like the back door, stealthily trying to look around before leaving to do god knows what.

But Deadpool spotted him, and whispered to Wolverine to get ready to catch him to question him.

Deadpool acted as a bait, getting stuck in a foothole trap on purpose and yapping to get the attention of the guy. As the latter noticed the red mercenary, Wolverine, who was hiding behind a big tree, lunged at him, and pinned him on the ground with a set of claws in a leg and a knee immobilizing the other leg.

- Oh that's so hot! Lucky guy, me too I want to be pinned by the Wolverine! said Deadpool.

He used his "baby knife" to free his leg.

- Shut up, mouth! We're on a mission, remember? scoffed the yellow suited man.

- I'll never shut up, Wolvie.

- Then use your mouth for something fucking useful! Ask the questions then!

- Hey bastard, what's this place for? asked the merc.

- I can't tell you! he mutters.

Wolverine twisted his claws in the man's leg, and this one let out a cry of pain.

- Talk. RIGHT NOW. sternly said the X-Men.

The dude still doesn't say anything.

- DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU WORSE. Wolverine spat.

- Wow that's so sexy, peanut. So much testosterone I can't! Looks like you're better than me to ask questions, said Deadpool.

The guy was shaking in fear.

- Uh... I-I'm just a lowly minion of the boss of this place... I don't know much b-but there's some... experiments on dogs? H-he sent me- me searching a pl- a plant for something...

- Finally, you know, you can be useful when you want! said the red man to the guy.

- Now c-can you PLEASE remove your kitty claws off my leg? It hurts, complained the dude.

- KITTY??? DO I LOOK LIKE A KITTY TO YOU?? yelled Wolverine exasperated.

He drew his claws from the other hand and slid them on the guy's chest just grazing to make superficial cuts.

- ONLY ONE person in the world is allowed to call me kitty. And even then, it depends on my mood, he growled.

- It's me?? asked Deadpool, simping.

- Shut the fuck up, ass mouth! I didn't say anything. And you, random minion, I'm gonna need you to bring me to your boss.

Fuck, of course it's Deadpool. But I didn't mean to say this at all, it's embarrassing, thought Logan.

- I- I don't even know if he's here r-right now! he said.

- I don't give a fuck, idiot! replied Wolverine.

He took the rope from the trap that Deadpool had cut with his knife, and used it to tie it around the bad guy's neck, (not too tight so he could still breathe) and took the rope's end. This way if he tried to escape, he'd choke himself.

The guy reluctantly guided them, he had no choice anyway. But he was smarter than they thought (or dumber, no one knows).

As they were heading to the door, they fell right through the floor!

...