Bound By Blood.

Ch.16~ I don't want to play.

"We never had forever, Riddle. That's something we've accepted a long time ago.

The raid tomorrow, don't go, another trap."

Recovered Translated correspondents from Order Member Alexandra Brooks, to Death Eater Mattheo Riddle, 2005. 

Hogwarts, 1997.

Mattheo.

In all my years, all the parties, all the random hook up's and even drunken nights ill never be able to recall, I never once regretted it. 

Until, my night with Violet. 

The memory of my kiss in the library with Brooks replayed in my mind like a broken record...the warmth of her lips against mine, the softness of her touch, the way everything else faded into a blur around us. 

It felt different... entirely unlike the chaotic flings I was accustomed to. 

But along with the rawness of that moment came the bitterness of what I knew I had to do. 

I had pushed her away, harsh words spilling from my lips with no control, as if I were trying to smash our connection to pieces before it even had a chance to form. 

It was an odd feeling, to feel her beneath my touch and actually feel... something. 

I knew I had to let it go. 

"Easy," I'd snapped, my voice a growl that hid the tremor of uncertainty beneath. 

And there it was, the stark reality of the life I led. 

The one I actively chose. 

For her own safety, and Merlin knows why I even felt the need to protect her from all of this, I had to maintain that distance, even if every fiber of my being wanted to pull her closer.

But I couldn't let that happen. 

I kept replaying our last moments together: the hurt in her eyes, the confusion that had settled there when I pushed her away. 

I hated that I had to say it. 

I hated that it felt so wrong.

I had to be selfless for once in my life. 

I had to be the one to pull the reins, to ensure she wouldn't get swept away in the whirlwind that was me. 

I couldn't do it. 

Not to her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classes were just as fucking boring as any other day. 

Followed by Brooks moping and anger flooding every room she walked into, made it almost unbearable. 

It was hard to concentrate on anything when she was buzzing with so much unbridled emotion.

Her usual minimal bitchiness was replaced by a scowl that could cut glass. 

Whenever she caught my eye, which regrettably was often, I could feel the tension building like a coiled spring between us, an invisible thread connecting to our unspoken feelings.

I had tried to forget, to convince myself that pushing her away had been the right move. 

But seeing her like this stirred something deep within me.