Bound By Blood.

ch.30~ I've seen.

"You don't look well, 

and I cant tell if i'm worried about you,

 or relieved to be away from you."

Translated  undelivered correspondents from Order Member Alexandra Brooks, to Death Eater Mattheo Riddle, dated somewhere between 2000-2001.

Order Safe House, Unknown Location, 2003.

Alexandra.

"I told you, I'm ready!" I screamed so loud, I thought I tasted blood, "How long are you going to keep me locked in here?!" 

I paced the confines of the kitchens. Bare, cold, and too large for the numbers we've lost over the past five years. 

Every wall was a reminder of the life I used to live, the person I had once been... a loyal friend, a person who wouldn't take anyones shit, someone who wouldn't back down in the face of danger. 

I wasn't just injured; I had all of me stolen from me. 

I wasn't me anymore. 

"Please, just give me a chance!" I shouted again, looking across the table at Harry, who over the last few years, has turned into someone I don't recognize anymore. 

Harry's green eyes darted to the floor, and he ran a hand through his unruly hair, which had grown longer and more disheveled during our time isolated in the house. 

"Alex," he started, his voice heavy with concern. "It's not that we don't believe in you... it's just—"

"—that you think I'm broken," I snapped, cutting him off. The truth hung in the air between us like an unspoken accusation. 

Ron, leaning against the countertop, shifted uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze.

"That's not what we mean," he said quietly, his voice steady but filled with a weight that made my chest tighten. "We just—"

"You just want to keep me safe," I finished bitterly. "But look at this place! Look at us. We're not living; we're merely... existing here. It feels like every day I lose another piece of myself to these four walls."

Harry's silence was deafening. 

We had all made sacrifices, yes, but mine felt like an eternity, stretched across the endless span of time since the war. 

Five years of healing, but with every month that passed, I'd found myself adrift on a sea of frustration, a daunting reminder of what we had lost.

I fully healed four years ago. 

"You have no idea how it feels to be out there," Harry finally said, his voice fierce but tinged with guilt. "You weren't there when... You couldn't see what it really looks like. It's dangerous, Alex. It's not like before."

"Then let me see it!" I pressed on, desperation clawing at the edges of my resolve. "There was a time where you were afraid to talk back to me, to tell me no. Now look at us! All  I'm asking is for you to trust me. Trust that I can still be the person I was."

I wasn't asking for permission. 

Especially not from Harry, I just needed his clearance to fight. 

Which unfortunately, was almost the same thing.