Old Days Break Free [ON HOLD]

17

The Mind Games

Lorraine's POV

"What are your regrets during the time you and your ex girlfriend broke up?"

Regrets...

I have plenty...

"I regret not giving her the love she deserves... She was precious, you know?" I scoffed and faked a smile as I looked into the eyes of my psychiatrist.

"I know. What are the most precious things you loved about her?"

Everything...

"The way she gives me attention, cares for me like she's my mother and protects me like she's my father." He nodded, listing something on his paper.

I continued to answer his questions, each word weighed carefully, but all of them were the truth. 

I found no reason to lie, not here, not with him. 

He made it easy, the way he listened—truly listened. 

His attention never wavered, as if, for the time being, I was the only person that mattered. 

"Before we proceed further," he began, his voice steady and calming.

"I want to thank you for trusting me. I promise that everything we've discussed stays between the two of us. From our sessions, Lorraine, I see a woman who is strong and deeply caring." 

His words were kind, laced with sincerity. 

I felt a smile tug at my lips, despite the heaviness that weighed down on my chest. 

"Doc… What do you think about my condition? What’s really going on with me?" I asked, nervousness creeping into my voice. 

I wasn't sure if I was ready for what he was about to say. 

"I want to be gentle, but it’s important that you hear this. Ms. Ynarez, you are suffering from something called Past Dream Sintoma, or PDS." 

My brows furrowed in confusion, the term foreign to me. 

He shifted in his seat, leaning forward slightly, meeting my gaze with a look that held both seriousness and compassion. 

"What is that, exactly?" I asked, my voice trembling with uncertainty. 

He exhaled softly, as if preparing himself to explain something difficult. 

"PDS is typically triggered by a deeply traumatic event that occurred either in childhood or at some point in the past. It’s a rare mental illness, but it is complex and potentially dangerous. Those who have it often find themselves trapped in their painful memories, unable to move forward. They suppress emotions, and over time, this can lead to severe stress. It’s as though their mind is stuck in the past, unable to reconcile with the present. They might engage in behaviors without even realizing it, disconnected from their current reality because they’re so consumed by what happened before." 

His explanation hit me like a wave, and I realized I had been holding my breath the entire time. 

I struggled to process his words, each one feeling heavier than the last.