Run With The Devil

Confronting Feelings

Lyras pov

I sat on the couch, my thoughts a jumbled mess. Deon's sister's question about whether I liked Deon in a more profound way than just gratitude had been echoing in my mind all day. It wasn't just about being supported and protected; it was something deeper, something that was starting to take shape within me.

The way Deon had been there for me, even when I was at my worst, stirred something inside me. Despite my fears and the damage I had caused, he had been a constant presence. His actions had shown me a side of humanity I had almost forgotten-one that was caring and steadfast, even amidst chaos.

I recalled our conversations, the moments when he had been patient with me and when he had held me back from my destructive impulses. It was clear that his presence had become significant in ways I hadn't fully understood until now. The warmth of his support, his protective nature, and the rare moments of vulnerability I'd glimpsed from him had all contributed to a confusing whirlwind of emotions inside me.

As I sat there, struggling with my feelings, I knew I needed clarity. I needed to figure out if what I felt was something that could grow or if it was merely a result of the circumstances we found ourselves in. My previous interactions with people had been so twisted by manipulation and control that understanding genuine feelings was an entirely new experience for me.

A part of me was still raw from the events in Japan-the anger, the hurt, and the confusion. But another part was beginning to recognize the difference between what was real and what was a result of my internal battles. Deon had always been there, not just as someone to manage or control, but as a person who genuinely cared about my well-being.

When I heard footsteps approaching, I tensed, unsure of what to expect. Deon's presence had a way of shifting the atmosphere, making me acutely aware of my own emotions and his impact on them. I looked up as he entered the room, his face showing a mix of concern and something else-something that was more personal and less guarded than usual.

As he came closer, I could see the resolve in his eyes, the kind of resolve that made me want to be honest with him. I had to confront my feelings, to be truthful about what I was experiencing. It wasn't just about managing my emotions anymore; it was about understanding them and facing the reality of what I felt for him.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. "Deon," I began, my voice trembling slightly. "I've been thinking a lot about what your sister asked me. About how I feel about you. I don't want to just brush it off or pretend it's something it's not."

He looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and something softer, something that hinted at understanding. I continued, trying to articulate the whirlwind of emotions that had been swirling inside me. "I don't know if I fully understand what I'm feeling, but it's more than just gratitude. It's more than just the need for protection. You've been there for me in ways that go beyond what I expected, and it's making me question what I really want and need."

Deon listened intently, his expression unreadable yet focused. I could see him processing my words, trying to gauge the depth of what I was saying. It was both comforting and nerve-wracking to be so exposed, to lay bare my inner struggles and uncertainties.

"I know I've been unpredictable and difficult," I admitted, looking down at my hands. "And I know I've hurt you and others. But I want to understand this feeling, to figure out if it's something real or just a result of everything that's happened."

He took a step closer, his voice steady and reassuring. "Lyra, whatever you're feeling is valid. It's okay to be confused, to need time to understand what's going on inside you. We can work through this together, if you're willing."