chapter eleven: it's different

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[ TRIGGER WARNING; this chapter will contain mentions of Kit's suicidal thoughts and intended suicide attempt from chapter two ]

CHAPTER ELEVEN.
IT'S DIFFERENT


    Despite her original plans, Kit didn't go to the barn

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Despite her original plans, Kit didn't go to the barn. She could've, maybe she should've but she didn't. She needed a break, so instead she planned to just climb into bed. Maybe she could get some sleep.

The room next to Kate's had basically become hers while growing up. It had started when she showed up at 2 am after an argument with her parents about her grades. Normally her family was fine but, sometimes her parents hated the idea of her becoming a musician. This had been one of those times.

When she showed up in the pouring rain with nothing except a small backpack, Cathy hadn't hesitated. Immediately she was rushed in, assuring her that she always had a place to stay with them. Somehow that had spun into the room becoming hers whenever she needed a place to stay.

When she walked in, she was hit with a flood of memories. Staying up late giggling with Kate while they talked about everything. Showing Kate the music she'd written and playing for hours. The pictures on the wall of her and Kate at high school graduation, her letter inviting her to perform in Tennessee, everything she hadn't seen for 5 years. Half of those things were things she'd been trying to forget. She wasn't so sure she wanted to forget anymore.

This right here, was home. Sure she had a home with her family, but never really felt like she was meant to be there. This right here, the Carter house, was where she belonged. It just had taken her a little bit to remember.

She was about to enter the room when she had a thought and went back down the hall. She picked up her old guitar, dusting it off before returning to her room.

Kit sat down on the bed and pulled the guitar into her lap. Tuning the strings to ensure they weren't off-key.

With a small deep breath, she slipped the strap over her head and slowly strummed the guitar.

"Air in my lungs 'til the road begins..." She started playing a simple song.

"As the last of the bugs leave their homes again." She played a little faster.

"And I'm splittin' the road down the middle,"

"For a minute, the world seems so simple."

The song said everything she was thinking as she continued to play it. That became her focus for the moment. Letting herself just give in to her feelings while she played. She didn't realize how much she had missed music until she'd played it at the rodeo. Now, she didn't want to stop.

Her hand was acting up, her old injury making it feel stiff but she pushed past it to keep playing. For a second, it was almost like how it used to be, and it was a reminder that things may have changed, but she could still be who she wanted to be. If she just tried.




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